


Hold Me Closer, Tiny Dancer

by Joley123



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Lesbian AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-02-27 12:29:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 28,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18739057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joley123/pseuds/Joley123
Summary: Brooke Lynn is a graduate student anxiously embracing her new position as her favorite dance professors' new TA. Vanessa is a sophomore dance major who just might make her way into being more than the teacher(assistant)'s pet.





	1. First Day

**Author's Note:**

> rating and character list subject to change, this is based on the first chapter only

“How are you late to the first day of class?” Brooke said into the phone she held between her cheek and shoulder as she made her way into the studio. “Oh, there’s always a five-car pile-up with you,” she huffed and shook her head, dropping her gym bag into the corner of the room. “It’s fine, I’ll take it from here,” without pockets in her leggings, she opted to gently toss her phone on to the bag, before sinking down beside it to retrieve the day’s materials. 

New York University takes in bright, talented students from all over. Brooke herself was a Canadian transplant on the path of earning a dual MFA in dance and MA in teaching dance. Naturally, assisting a professor was par for the course, and she was hand-picked for this class. “You’ll be fine, Brooke. I’ll have everything under control, Brooke,” she mocked to herself as she read the syllabus for the umpteenth time. 

“You good, sis?”

Brooke’s eyes flicked up from the packet to the girl in front of her – a petite girl with dimples and warm brown eyes. She stood with crossed arms in gray sweats and cropped sweatshirt and – despite easily being a half-foot shorter, gave off a strong energy that both intimidated and intrigued her. 

“Hello? You can talk to yourself but got nothin’ to say to anyone else?”

Brooke cleared her throat, averting her gaze. “Sorry, just been a rough morning,” she pushed herself to her feet, “I’m Brooke, the TA. You’re here for Dance Techniques II, I take it?” it felt like a stupid question, but it was all she could conjure up.

The shorter girl’s eyes widened when she realized just how tall Brooke actually was when she emerged from the ball that she had curled herself into. She, however, was far from a loss for words. “Damn, you really got some dancing legs,” she chuckled, then answered the question. “Yeah I should be on that list,” she leaned over and poked at the page a few times. “Vanessa Mateo, but I go by Vanjie.”

“Vanjie,” she echoed. “Catchy,” other students were filing into the studio by then, her eyes scanning the group to see if the professor had gotten there on time after all – evidently not. “Well, Miss Vanjie, I have to get things started. Why don’t you have a seat?”

“Alright, Miss Brooke,” Vanessa retorted with a cheeky grin, then tilted her head. “Yeah, you a miss. Imma remember that,” she winked before sitting on the floor with the rest of the class.

Brooke was relieved the students were still talking among themselves, because she had found herself frozen and tongue-tied for what felt like ages. Sure, she had been hit on by students and professors alike – she was a tall, fit blonde that carried herself with grace – but it was almost always men, and she couldn’t have been less interested. But no woman had ever been as bold as Vanessa – could she tell she was gay just from looking at her? Or did she just have the nerves of steel to try her luck and not care either way?

It didn’t matter, anyway. Hell, it was inappropriate to still be thinking about it, right? Even though these weren’t _her_ students, it would just be wrong. Just keep it moving. “Good morning everyone, my name is Brooke Lynn Hytes and I will be your TA for the semester. Your professor is running late, so pass these around while I take roll,” she handed one stack of syllabi to a girl on one side of the room, and the other to one on the far end. 

As she walked, she read off names on the call sheet. “Lopez, Ciara?” Here. “Madison, Olivia?” Here. “Moore, Sophia?” He—

“Um, excuse me, Miss Brooke Lynn,” the distinctively familiar voice threw Brooke off her rhythm and grabbed her attention. “You forgot to call my name.”

Brooke chuckled, almost endeared by the way Vanessa said her name. “I got you already, Vanjie.”

Vanessa seemed satisfied with the answer. “Just making sure,” she said to a scattered chorus of giggles throughout the room. But with that, she was quiet for the rest of the roll call. 

“Okay, does anyone have any questions?” Brooke pointed to a student with a raised hand. 

“Not to be rude but like…how do you pronounce the professor’s name?” a few other students nodded along, apparently the girl was not the only one with the question.

“Zamolodchikova. But just call her Katya,” Brooke explained. “Anyone else?” another hand shot up. “Vanjie?” her tone was a mix of exasperation and amusement. 

“This your real phone number?” Vanessa shot her a perfect, pearly white smile that had Brooke convinced she was doing this on purpose, especially in front of the class where her reaction had to remain poised and professional.

Then she would play her game, just for now. Brooke clicked her tongue and offered a tight-lipped smile. “Yes, for _academic_ purposes, there’s an easy way to contact me. I’ll mainly be the one to help you guys practice for your final project,” she shifted her tone to address the whole class. “You all should check that section of the packet and have a top five song list ready to go by the end of next week, and—”

The sound of high heels running down the hallway was what crashed Brooke’s train of thought this time. Katya darted into the class, somehow managing not to stumble or fall once. “Told you I’d make it, you neurotic bitch,” she said with breathless triumph. 

“There’s twenty minutes left,” Brooke huffed.

“Great! You guys are free to go. I don’t care where, just get out,” the class almost seemed hesitant to follow Katya’s orders after Brooke’s supposed command of the room. Nonetheless, they all began to file out of the room.

Except for Vanessa, because Brooke just couldn’t seem to catch a break with her. “See ya Wednesday, Miss Brooke,” she cooed in a cloyingly sweet tone before leaving with a pair of giggling friends in tow. 

Brooke exhaled deeply, taking a moment to enjoy the brief silence before she had to address Katya all but burning a hole through her skull. “What? Everything went fine.”

“Is that including your sexy ethical dilemma?”

“Excuse me?”

Katya was grinning wickedly, as if she was waiting for the second she could call her out. “That Mateo girl looked ready to eat you alive, and you’re trying not to get your panties moist at the thought.”

Brooke turned a bright shade of red and turned up her nose. “First of all, don’t say ‘moist’. Second, get your mind out of the gutter! She’s pretty, okay? But she’s your student, that’s gotta break some rules,” she paused, leaning against the mirrored wall and looking down. “Besides, you know where I stand on sex and relationships right now. I’m not about to sort that out with someone I have a position of power over.”

“So, you _are_ a top,” she chuckled at her assistant’s defensive reaction. “Look, I enjoy making terrible decisions, it’s kind of a hobby. I’m gonna let you sort this out on your own…except for when I hound you for details a couple times a week, give or take.”

Rolling her eyes, Brooke gathered her things. “I’m sure I’ll be over…whatever this is by next class. If you’re even there for it.”

Katya laughed and flipped her off as she left, leaving Brooke the same way she started – alone with her thoughts in the studio. 

### 

“You’re in a good mood today.”

Vanessa hadn’t noticed how wide she was smiling until her friend and coworker spoke up. Granted, not a lot of people walked into their shift at Starbucks as if it were their dream job. “What? I need a reason to be happy, now?”

A’keria quirked her brow and clicked her tongue. “That’s a non-answer, bitch.”

It was, but Vanessa was trying to stand by it. “Not everything’s that deep,” she insisted as she clocked in, then turned to go change in the back. There was a small mirror in there, so she used it to fix her hair and touch up her lipstick while she eavesdropped on A’keria chatting with the next person on line while she made their drink.

“Didn’t you graduate? What’re you still doing around here?”

Out of the reflection of the mirror, Vanessa caught a glimpse of the customer and walked right back out with a grin. “She teaches now,” she leaned against the counter. “You following me, Miss Brooke?”

Brooke blinked in surprise, momentarily thinking she was imagining things. This time, without the pressure of the classroom, she was able to recover gracefully. “Only a fortunate coincidence, Vanessa,” her voice was as smooth as the coffee she sipped after she spoke, leaving the money on the counter and relocating to one of the couches.

“I’m going on break,” Vanessa announced, untying her apron. 

“You’ve been here ten minutes!”

But she was already on the other side of the counter. “Can’t hear you, on break!” she brushed her off as she made a beeline for the couch, sitting herself next to Brooke. “You did your undergrad here too, huh?”

Brooke smiled around the rim of her cup and nodded. “Mhm. I had Katya as my professor twice, and now I’m here,” she set the cup down on the table, shifting her body to better face her. Maybe she should stop being so paranoid – there couldn’t be any harm in just talking to her – she would’ve met up in a public place with any of the students to help them with class anyway. “Well, trying to be.”

Vanessa tilted her head and furrowed her brows. “Trying to be?”

There was a beat of silence. Brooke was trying to figure out how to explain herself when the dam broke with a dejected sigh. “I don’t have any teaching experience. Or any sort of…leadership role, I guess. I’ve pet-sat for my neighbors, but an elderly Canadian couple’s akita isn’t the same as twenty students. Dance is just...something I'm really passionate about, and I want to be able to share that,” she tried to force out a small laugh. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t just be dumping this on you.”

To Brooke’s surprise, Vanessa reached out and grabbed her wrist, squeezing it reassuringly and waiting patiently to get her eye contact before speaking. “Hey, if you were a bad teacher, you wouldn’t care enough to worry about it. Besides, passion is what drives people. You need something to care about to get your ass out of bed every morning. So sharing that passion...it's like the best type of everyday gift we can give each other, you feel me?” her voice seemed to lose some of the bold edge it normally carried.

It took a moment before Brooke replied, but she’d relaxed her shoulders and unclenched her fists. “Wow, that was so kind and wise,” she smiled. 

“Don’t sound so surprised,” she rolled her eyes playfully. “Listen, I know you don’t wanna be unprofessional or whatever but…I get off at nine, might feel better having someone walking me back to my dorm. For safety.”

Brooke bit her lip and glanced away. She swore it was like Vanessa could read her like a book, and in an odd way, it was comforting. “For safety,” she echoed, nodding. “Makes sense to me,” she grabbed her drink and stood up, waving goodbye before making a prompt exit. 

Vanessa grinned in satisfaction as she went back behind the counter. “Don’t say it, bitch,” she warned as she retied her apron. 

A’keria stood tapping her foot with her arms crossed. “Your thirsty ass is gonna get both of us in trouble one of these days, you know that, right?” she paused, adding “She fine though, I’ll give you that,” she checked her phone. “Now can you hold it together for the next five and a half hours?”

“Yeah, yeah I got it, take the pole out of your ass,” she waved her off as she stood upright and went on to taking the next order, ready for the evening to go by as fast as possible. 

And it did, to an extent. There were periods of time where Vanessa found herself repeatedly glancing at her phone or strumming her fingers aimlessly against the counter. At least it was a decent Starbucks to work at – being in a college area meant she didn’t get a whole lot of soccer moms screaming at her – but it led to the day dragging at times when most classes were in session. She must have spaced out entirely at one point, though, because all of the sudden, she jerked back into reality to see Brooke leaning against the counter.

“You ready to go, Vanjie?” her voice was sweet but there was a slight smirk tugging at her lips. 

Vanessa nodded, going in the back to change into her street clothes and clocking out. “Let’s go,” she held on to one of Brooke’s arms with both of her own as they left and started down the block. “I’m at Brittany Hall,” she told her when they stopped at a corner. 

“Huh, no shit. I spent my underclassman years there, bet you’re not far from my old room,” now knowing where to go, Brooke ended up leading the way back to the dorm. “See? Look, I was right down the hall in 307,” she pointed out. 

“Do you still stay in the halls?”

“Yeah, I’m around the corner in Palladium,” they came to a stop in front of Vanessa’s dorm, both rocking on their feet, neither wanting to be the first to say goodbye. “I should get going,” Brooke finally said. “I’m sure you’ve got class in the morning or something…”

Vanessa chewed on her lip, fingers fumbling with the hem of her shirt. “Right, got a lecture at ten and all…”

And yet their feet seemed glued in the spot in front of the door. There was silence, averted gazes, awkward shifting…and then a sudden change, their heads jerking forward and lips colliding in a kiss. It was brief – no more than a few seconds in reality – but intense enough for yet another moment of frozen silence to follow.

“See you Wednesday!” Brooke blurted out, turning on her heel and heading right back out the way she came, refusing to look behind her, knowing she’d run back around if she did. She didn’t even register how fast she was walking or where she was going, her legs taking her home on autopilot, and next thing she knew she was laying flat on her bed.

“Oh, fuck me,” she mumbled and tossed her head against the pillows. This was going to be a _long_ semester.


	2. The Tango: Vanjie

While it is called the ‘fall semester’, classes always start during the summer, often at the end of August. This gave way for heatwaves hitting in the middle of the week, especially in densely-packed places like New York City. No one talks about this time of year in the city that never sleeps – it is devoid of the awe and whimsy that so often surrounded it in media. Artists don’t wax poetic about days like this, where the air is thick and hazy and smells of sweat and melting garbage. Where, despite it being the lunch rush, the streets were scare, and everyone is hiding in the comfort of air conditioning or high-powered fans. 

Cut to the graduate student residence hall – more specifically, Brooke’s apartment. There, she and Nina sat on the floor in sports bras and shorts, drinking glass after glass of ice water and being eternally grateful that the a/c had been fixed just before the start of the semester. Nina looked on as Brooke stared catatonically at the ceiling and nudged her leg with her foot to get her attention. “I don’t think I’ve ever had to say this to anyone but myself, but I think you’re being overdramatic,” she told her.

“I’m not!” Brooke sighed in exasperation. “It’s only day two of the school year and I’ve already _kissed_ a _student_. I couldn’t manage a full twenty-four hours on campus without jeopardizing everything,” she groaned, now laying on the floor. “It wasn’t even a cute cheek kiss, I almost slipped her tongue, Nina!”

Nina didn’t mean to laugh, trying to cover her mouth when she snorted. “What exactly do you think is going to happen? That she’s gonna tell Katya? That Katya’s gonna fire you?” she didn’t let her answer before she continued, “I don’t think you’re actually afraid of getting in trouble. I think you’re afraid of catching feelings for this girl.”

“Thanks for the insight, Dr. Phil,” Brooke huffed and pushed herself back into a sitting position. “Look, just because she’s beautiful, funny, and kissing her made me feel like glitter was exploding inside of me, doesn’t mean I’m about to fall for her.”

Nina stared at her blankly, hardly able to believe the level of denial she was stuck in. “Do you hear yourself? Because you sound ridiculous.” She swung her legs over to the side so she could shift and look at her. “You know it isn’t the end of the world to have a crush on someone, right? It’s a thing that happens to most of us humans every now and then.”

Brooke groaned and buried her head in her hands. “But why did it have to hit me _now_?” she couldn’t help but wonder, if it was in another time and place, would she be this stressed over the encounter? She supposed it was possible that she would try to find another excuse, or maybe she’d be in Vanessa’s bed instead. 

“Because sometimes life is an asshole that takes its joy in screwing with you, and you just have to tough it out. That’s how I got into comedy,” doing improv and stand-up had become Nina’s way of coping, and Brooke’s way of coping was…not.

And she couldn’t counter her point either, leaving her pouting and looking at the floor. “So, what am I supposed to do in class tomorrow?”

Nina shrugged. “Just try not to make a big deal of things, it’ll just be business as usual. I’m sure she’s just as nervous and confused as you are.”

### 

“She wants me,” Vanessa said to her friends. They were all sat in the dining hall during lunch, the group having just listened with interest as she recounted the events of the day before.

“You sound real confident about someone that deadass ran away from you,” A’keria retorted, pointing her fork at her as she spoke. 

Vanessa shook her head, swallowing the food in her mouth before speaking. “Nah it wasn’t a ‘running away’ moment. She just got cold feet, I ain’t taking it personally,” she sat upright with a smug grin, proving a sincerity in her belief. 

“So, what are you gonna do next? Like in class?” she furrowed her brows.

That was when she realized she hadn’t actually planned ahead, which was never her strength in the first place. While it was often a hindrance academically, she usually enjoyed the spontaneity that came with potential budding romances. But with Brooke? She might have to take another approach. “Gotta play the long game, babe.”

“The long game?” Blair chimed in. While she had a girlfriend, she was endlessly interested in her and A’keria’s dating lives – especially comparing and contrasting the two. They were both extroverts that thrived at a good party or club and were openly flirtatious with whoever caught their eye. The difference, perhaps, was the number of girls that caught their respective eyes – A’keria didn’t like leaving any outing empty-handed, while Vanessa had the tendency to pick and choose, even when drunk beyond belief.

Vanessa clicked her tongue and smirked. “She ain’t just gonna get with me overnight – you gotta finesse that shit when you’re aiming for, you know, a lady of Brooke Lynn’s caliber.”

“As opposed to us hoes?” A’keria arched her brow.

“Exactly, bitch!” Vanessa laughed.

“I think it’s sweet,” Blair hummed. “You’re changing your major to Brooke!” she said to a pair of blank stares. “Fun Home? Seriously? God, I waste my best musical theatre material on you guys,” she huffed.

Even though Vanessa didn’t understand the joke, she understood what Blair was getting at. Out of curiosity, she looked up the song she’d referenced, listening to it on her walk to class. “Oh, I get it now. That was clever,” she said to herself before she sat down in the lecture hall. 

The class was about half full when she arrived, students filing in for the next five minutes or so. At one point, a girl took the seat next to her. She sat poised and upright – Vanessa wondered if she was a dancer too. “Nice bling you got there,” she told her, gesturing to the large earrings that stood out against her shaved head.

“Thanks,” she replied, casually looking her over. “I’m Yvie.”

“Vanjie.”

She quirked her brow. “Is that your given name?”

“No, it’s Vanessa. But that’s what I go by,” she replied, rifling through her bag and humming quietly to herself as she took what she needed out. 

Yvie nodded in understanding, looking forward and scribbling aimlessly along the margins of her notebook paper. “So, what’s your major?”

“Brooke.”

“What?”

Vanessa’s eyes widened and she shrunk down, momentarily considering walking right out of the class and calling it a day. “Dance! I-I meant to say dance,” she sputtered out. Oh, she was going to get Blair later. It was her damn fault bringing up that musical. 

“I’m not even gonna ask, girl,” Yvie shook her head. It was more out of sympathy, seeing how embarrassed she was, than an actual lack of interest. Frankly, she was much more tempted to press for more information, but then the professor called attention to the front of the class, and the various conversations died down, much to Vanessa’s relief.

### 

Wednesday morning, on its own, seemed to promise a better day. The heatwave had passed, and the city was bustling with its usual energy. Even in the dance studio, Katya was the first one to arrive, which gave Brooke – who came in next – one less thing to worry about. She decided not to tell her about the kiss, lest she be subjected to an ‘I told you so’, making her hope all the more that the class would go by without incident. 

Brooke scanned the room as each student entered, trying to make it seem like she was paying every one of them the same amount of attention. But then Vanessa walked in and suddenly no one else existed. This time she had on shorts and a tank top, and her hair was tied into a neat bun, and Brooke was able to study her for a good couple moments before their eyes met.

“Morning, Brooke,” Vanessa still seemed happy to see her, but her tone was calmer, more controlled. It was the same tone she had when she comforted her in Starbucks, and it brought on the same sense of ease it had then. 

It baffled her, when she thought about it. Brooke’s emotions were so easily swayed – Vanessa could get her riled up and calmed down within the same conversation. That sort of thing might bother others, but it had something of an addictive quality to it. She wanted to get to know her more, to get another hit of her energy. “Good to see you, Vanjie,” she replied. And she meant it, truly.

After Brooke took attendance, Katya stood at the front of the class to begin the lecture. “Today we’re going to work on having to work with a partner. I know you guys touched on some dances last year, so we’re going to build off of that. I’m just going to go down the line and pair everyone up,” she paired up everyone as she walked across the studio, until she got down to the last three girls. “Looks like we’ve got an odd number today.”

One girl shrugged. “It’s fine, we can work in a gr—” 

“No, no that just work,” she looked at the three girls, making it seem like she was really thinking about it. “You two pair up. Vanjie, you can work with Brooke,” she announced, actively refusing to acknowledge the way Brooke was staring her down. 

_The devil works hard, but Katya works harder_ , Brooke thought as she got up and went to sit by her new dance partner. She tuned out while Katya explained what dance steps they’d be doing – she had gone through all of this before and knew it by heart – especially considering how many times she had gone over the lesson plans. Instead, she took that time to remind herself to stay calm, that the only reaction she should have is no reaction at all.

“You ever tango before?” Brooke asked as she, Vanessa, and everyone else got to their feet. 

“You heard her, we did this last year,” Vanessa shrugged as a simple tango tune filled the room from the speaker Katya hooked up to her laptop.

And each set of partners assumed the starting position – one hand on the other’s shoulder and the others clasped together out to the side. Some students were counting the steps out loud, while others were doing turns and back cortes. 

Unsurprisingly, Vanessa was on the more advanced end of the spectrum, demonstrated both by her skill and her desire to take control. “Why can’t you let me lead?” she huffed.

“Grow six inches and we’ll talk,” Brooke retorted, dipping her in time with the music, earning her a scowl from the shorter girl, but she only found it as cute as her smile. Almost as if to further flaunt her size advantage, she moved her arm around Vanessa’s waist, lifting her up for a twirl.

But Vanessa was quick on her feet. She landed and wrapped a leg around her waist, and Brooke put a hand on her thigh and pulled her close. Another dip, and back up. As the music died down, they came to a stop, breathing heavily, close enough for their breath to hit each other’s faces.

“Now that’s a tango, ladies!” Katya had apparently been going from pair to pair, coaching and critiquing, not that this pair would’ve noticed. “I call it The Tango: Branjie!” she said with jazz hands for flourish. “Get it? Because, you know, you—and she—" she looked around at the stone-faced class. “Damn, tough crowd. Class dismissed,” she shrugged and walked to turn off her laptop.

“For the record,” Brooke said as she set Vanessa down and took a few cautious steps back, “as the student, I think you should get the credit. It’s called The Tango: Vanjie now,” she turned to gather her things, but Vanessa didn’t budge. 

“I like the ring that has to it, but I ain’t leaving til we talk about that kiss,” she stood firmly, hands on her hips and head held high, only to cock a bit to the side as her pursed lips twitched to a smirk. “Or til I get another one.”

So that was how it was going to be. Brooke was impressed by Vanessa’s boldness, and perhaps a bit aroused. She gently placed her fingers under her chin, tilting her head up and pressing a kiss to her lips. “Goodbye, Vanjie,” she whispered sweetly, tapping her cheek lightly before sending her on her way. It was when she stood back up and turned to pick her bag up that she let out a frustrated groan. “Fuck, you’re still here.”

Katya was bouncing on the balls of her feet with a cheshire grin. “This is the best moment of my fucking career, bitch,” she ran over to Brooke and grabbed her hands, jumping up and down. “You guys are gonna have such crazy sex!”

Brooke’s eyes widened and she clapped her hand over Katya’s mouth. “Not if you keep running your fucking mouth!” she hissed in a stage whisper. She waited a beat, then let her hand drop to the side. “I swear, if you breathe a word—”

“Would you turn the paranoia down for like, five minutes to realize no one’s out to get you for whatever happens between you and Vanjie?” Katya gripped on to Brooke’s shoulders. “I think you need to go home, have a drink and a smoke, and go rub one out. You’ve got plenty of new material, now,” she bumped her elbow into her side.

Brooke exhaled and shook her head. “I’m gonna kill you,” she muttered before stepping out of the studio. She had only taken a couple steps towards the exit when she paused and turned around. _Of course._

“So,” Vanessa pushed herself off the wall and took a half-step towards Brooke. “You off to follow Professor Katya’s advice?” she asked with the same type of grin the aforementioned woman had. 

“No,” Brooke scoffed and tossed her hair off her shoulder. She waited until she saw something of a disappointed look on her face before adding “I’ve been trying to quit smoking,” she bit her lip and winked before turning on her heel and walking out of the building. 

Vanessa was left stunned, but well-affected, nonetheless. “Just keep playing the long game, Vanjie. She’ll come around.”


	3. Cookies & Cocktails

“Okay, there are two announcements I have before we’re done for the day,” Katya said to the class as the session was winding to an end. “First, if you have not submitted your potential song list to Brooke Lynn, you need to do so either before you leave, or email it by the end of the day,” she glanced back at the paper. “Secondly – and this is exciting – we’ve been invited to attend a dance exhibition in DC the last weekend of September, which is two weeks away. They’re even putting us up in a hotel, so this is a fancy fucking affair,” there were some scattered giggles throughout the class. “Brooke Lynn’s passing out…they’re not permission slips, but just the information we need so you don’t die.”

“That said, you might want to mention it to your parents, in case you can get some spending money out of them, because you’re on your own for food,” Brooke paused to think. “Well, there will be snacks at the exhibition, at least.”

“Yeah there will,” Vanessa retorted with a wink, earning some laughs from the students nearest to her.

Brooke pinched the bridge of her nose. “I walked into that, alright,” she murmured and finished passing out the sheets. “That’s all the housekeeping, you guys are free to go,” and with that, the students began filing out of the studio.

Except, of course, Vanessa. Brooke had come to expect as much at this point, and Katya had conveniently decided to leave for lunch at the same time – though it wouldn’t have been surprising if she was waiting just outside the room with a listening ear. 

“I got my song list for you,” Vanessa announced proudly, handing a typed-up sheet to her. She bounced on her feet as she watched her read, waiting intently for her reaction. 

Brooke’s eyes scanned the list and her brow arched. “Really, Vanjie?” she asked, knowing she had done this on purpose, and started to read the list out loud. "'When I Kissed the Teacher', 'Kiss the Girl', 'Kiss Me'," she waved her arm, showing that she read the rest of the list, that she had gotten the point. “Did you come up with all of these yourself?” she asked, exasperated despite the smile just tugging at the corners of her lips. 

“Yes,” no, Blair helped with most of them. “It’s clever though, right?”

Brooke chuckled softly. Even with the stunt she pulled, she still wanted a positive reaction, and it was undeniably cute. “It is clever, yes. Good job,” she exhaled. “Now do you have a real list?” she looked at her expectantly. “You forgot to make an actual list, didn’t you?” more silence. “Vanjie, come on. This is still your final project. You need an actual course of action here.”

“I know that!” Vanessa huffed defensively. “I just…” she bit her lip and looked down. “I don’t actually know what to do, okay? I’ve never had to like, create something from scratch like this, and for a fucking final? It’s a lot!”

“Hey, hey, look at me,” Brooke cupped her chin and made their eyes meet. “I know this seems like a lot, and it can get overwhelming. But you’re so much smarter than you give yourself credit for, I know you can do this, because I believe in you. And I’m gonna help you get this right, okay?”

Vanessa swallowed thickly. She hated getting emotional, but at the same time, wore her heart on her sleeve. It hurt to feel like she wasn’t in control – that’s who she built herself to be – someone bold and fearless, who never had to worry about what was on the horizon. And Brooke just countered it all – she was quiet and organized, with a brain that ran a mile a minute, always planning, always preparing, maybe that fueled her desire to win her over. “If there’s anyone that can, it’d be you.”

So, they sat on the floor of the studio for upwards of an hour, talking about Vanessa’s musical tastes, her strengths and weaknesses, and what she could best convey through a performance. And it was the most fun either of them ever had doing homework. Finally, they homed in on a song that they both were ready to get behind. 

“And I’m not gonna get read for going this route? It’s not…unpolished?” Vanessa asked, looking at the lyrics on her phone even though she knew them by heart.

“Well, that’s the thing. It’s not going to be a polished, refined number – that’s not who you are. You need to do something that speaks to you, not what you think everyone wants to see,” Brooke smiled, reaching out and squeezing her hand reassuringly.

Vanessa smiled, resting her head on Brooke’s shoulder. “Not to get all sappy, but I really couldn’t have done it without you,” she admitted softly.

Brooke wrapped an arm around her and kissed her forehead. “Aw, that’s so sweet. I like it when you get sappy. It makes me feel like there’s another side of you that not everyone gets to see.”

Blushing, Vanessa hid her face against Brooke’s chest. “Don’t go ‘round telling people that. I got, you know, a reputation on the line,” she mumbled.

“What? That you’ve got a soft, warm center like a good cookie?” Brooke gently tilted her chin up and kissed her, teasingly biting at her bottom lip. “Good thing I’ve got a sweet tooth then, eh?”

Vanessa snorted. “That was so fucking corny,” she said before kissing her again, “but I’m into it, come get these cookies,” she straddled her lap and rest both hands on the back of her head, as if she were preventing her from running away from a kiss again.

But Brooke wouldn’t have ran if her life depended on it. With one hand on the small of Vanessa’s back, and the other between her shoulder blades, she held her close, no longer any space between them. A pleased sigh slipped out between their lips in what was a culmination of everything that’d happened in the past couple weeks. 

That was, until, they both realized there was heavy breathing that didn’t belong to either of them. They managed to stop making out long enough to realize that a janitor was standing in the doorway, watching them. Subsequently, they broke apart and quickly gathered their things. If nothing else, at least they both found it to be a massive mood killer, leaving neither one wanting more in that moment.

“I’ll see you in class,” Brooke murmured, heading right.

“Yep, totally,” Vanessa replied and turned left, neither of them wanting to know if the janitor did anything next, though he did now have a list of people that were going to be rather pissed at him.

### 

Brooke Lynn didn’t necessarily make a habit of going out, but she did her best to enjoy herself when she did. There was a lesbian bar not too far from campus that she had been meaning to check out anyway – the last thing she needed tonight was a guy hitting on her after the janitor incident days prior. Of course, she couldn’t think about that without thinking about Vanessa, and what might have happened had they not been interrupted. It couldn’t have gone too far, right? She liked to believe she would have had enough self-control to _not_ fuck her in the dance studio, but Vanessa was changing her perception of everything she knew the longer she was around her.

So, she sat at the bar and ordered a drink, scanning the room. It was reasonably occupied for a Saturday night, and there were plenty of pretty girls, and yet… “You ever been hung up on someone you know you shouldn’t be?” she asked the bartender.

“Every straight girl I ever slept with, honey,” she replied with a shrug. “That’ll get your heart broken real quick.”

“I can imagine,” Brooke nodded, absentmindedly stirring her straw around her glass. “I swear though, it’s like I can still hear her voice.”

As it turned out, she was not descending further into madness. Vanessa, A’keria, Blair, and Blair’s girlfriend had all decided to hit up the bar as well – after procuring some convincing ID’s, of course. And once they were inside, the drinks were flowing, and inhibitions were tossed to the wayside. 

But the college students had gotten a much earlier start than she – A’keria had already picked out who she was taking home, and Blair was fading in and out of the main area with her date in tow. That left Vanessa, dancing to her heart’s content.

“Oh my god,” Brooke exhaled, quickly downing her drink and leaving cash. She wiggled her way through other club-goers until she ‘accidentally’ bumped into her. “Well, look who it is,” she chuckled.

It was then that it became glaringly obvious that Vanessa was _wasted_. She let out an excited yell and threw her arms around the taller girl. “Heeey Brooke Lynn,” she hiccupped and began dancing up against her, but it was at the point of sloppy, rather than sexy.

“Jesus, Vanjie, how much have you had to drink tonight?” she was letting the inebriated girl attempt to grind on her because it appeared to be the only thing keeping her from falling down. She steadied her by putting her hands on her waist, shaking her head in amusement.

Vanessa tilted her head in thought, then shrugged. “I lost count,” she tried to pull Brooke closer to kiss her. “We need to pick up where we left off in the studio,” she said in what was an attempt at a ‘seductive’ voice.

“What we need is to get your ass home before you hurt yourself. Who did you come here with?” Brooke waited until Vanessa pointed Blair out, then held on to her as they walked over. “I’m taking Vanjie home. Did she have anything else on her?”

Blair tilted her head, then perked up. “Oh! You’re Brooke!” she smiled brightly, until she realized Brooke was still waiting for an answer. “Yeah, here,” she handed her the small clutch Vanessa had come in with. “Bye! Get home safe!” she chirped. 

For a split second, Brooke wondered how someone could just trust a relative stranger to take their friend home. But the girl knew her by name, and she was Vanessa’s friend; she probably had at least some knowledge of the nature of their relationship, or at the very least that she could be a trustworthy person. She wrapped her arm around Vanessa’s waist and helped her out of the bar. 

After a half-block of stumbling, however, Brooke realized this was not going to be an effective method of transport. But, for whatever reason, taking a cab or uber didn’t cross her mind. Instead, she picked the smaller girl up, letting her legs wrap around her waist, and carrying her back like she would a toddler. Much to her relief, Vanessa didn’t put up any fight, just giggling in amusement and rambling semi-coherently all the way back to her dorm.

Brooke carefully set Vanessa down on the bed, turning on the lamp on her end table so she could see without waking up the sleeping roommate. “Stay put,” she instructed quietly as she got up to rifle around her belongings. 

Vanessa nodded obediently but pouted. “We’re not fucking tonight, are we?”

“Sorry to disappoint,” she retorted softly. “But I _do_ need to undress you,” she moved her around like a ragdoll as she got her out of the skin-tight tube dress she was in, as well as her undergarments. She replaced them with the Hello Kitty pajamas she had found in one of the drawers and set the party clothes aside. 

It was funny, in an ironic sort of way. Brooke had thought about Vanessa naked more times than she would ever admit. And here she was, catching a glimpse at her undressed form, and she couldn’t have been less interested in going down that path. If anything, she felt guilty about everything that had transpired because shit, this was someone that had to use a fake ID to get into a bar. Hell, Vanessa could barely hold her head up while Brooke wiped off her makeup. 

Brooke tried to ignore those nagging feelings – she had finally started to move past all of her excuses to avoid pursuing her, she didn’t want this setback now. “How are you feeling?” she whispered.

“Sleepy,” Vanessa mumbled, letting Brooke tuck her in. “Are you leaving?”

“No, no I got you, Vanjie,” she assured, leaning down and kissing her forehead. “I’ll be right here if you need me, okay?” and she waited and watched, making sure she was safely asleep before she allowed herself to sit down. 

### 

“Ugh, fuck I wanna die,” Vanessa mumbled into her pillow. She rolled back and forth a couple times before her eyes opened. The first thing she saw was the bed across from her was empty – her roommate had already left for the day. This made her wildly confused when she suddenly heard a loud, heavy snore. “What the fuck?” she looked around, and when she saw Brooke passed out on the floor beside her, she felt tears start to burn her eyes, which she promptly wiped away and chalked up to being touchy from the hangover. 

Trying to recall the night before proved to be a struggle. She had a vague memory of seeing Brooke at the bar, but being carried home by her? Laying limp while she changed her into pajamas and cleaned her up? Those were things she had to piece together by assessing her surroundings. It touched her – no one other than her mother had gone out of their way to make sure she was taken care of like this. How was she even supposed to react to that?

“Wake up, bitch,” Vanessa hit Brooke with the pillow, laying on her stomach so she could see her better. “What happened last night? And why am I wearing the pajamas my mom packed for me?”

“First of all, they’re adorable and your mom is the best for packing them,” Brooke told her as she pushed up to a sitting position, “Second of all, you were a hot mess last night. I took you back here and you passed out around…two in the morning, I think, ‘cause I remember falling asleep closer to three,” she recalled, scratching the back of her head. 

Vanessa smiled, looking down at her lap. “You didn’t have to do that. I can handle myself,” there weren’t any actual negative emotions in her tone, aside from some embarrassment at the idea of having acted a fool in front of Brooke.

Brooke got up on her knees, folding her arms on Vanessa’s bed and propping her chin on top of them. “I know I didn’t, but you shouldn’t have to when it comes to something like that. You could’ve gotten hurt if someone didn’t step in. And yes, I know you were with friends, but I needed to make sure for myself.”

The hangover bothered Vanessa less and less the longer she had Brooke in her room. It gave her something to focus on that wasn’t her throbbing headache and how she couldn’t sit up for more than a few seconds without feeling tired or nauseous. “For real though, thanks for handling my crazy ass last night. I don’t know a whole lotta people that would.”

“Of course, everyone needs to know there’s someone to bail them out when they’re in trouble,” Brooke pushed herself all the way up and sat on the edge of the bed, gently pushing the hair off Vanessa’s face. “Do you need anything else? Should I stay for a little longer?”

Vanessa beamed gently and shook her head. “Nah, I can take it from here. But really, thank you.” 

Brooke nodded and got up. “Take care of yourself, Vanjie. You know how to reach me if you need it,” she leaned down and kissed her forehead and closed the blinds before leaving.

Once Brooke was gone, Vanessa pulled the covers back up over her head, expecting to be back asleep within minutes, but her thoughts kept her awake, replaying everything that had happened in her head. She couldn’t stop herself from thinking about Brooke, and it made her feel warm inside. She groaned, staring up at the ceiling. “Fuck,” she muttered, realizing this had gone past flirtation and into a full-blown crush.


	4. And They Were Roommates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter that changes the story's rating. Proceed accordingly.

“Which dress says ‘fancy dance exhibition’ more? The black one or the gold one?” Brooke Lynn was holding up the two dresses, alternating between holding each against her body. Sure, she still had three days before the trip, but it never hurt to pack in advance, right?

Nina tilted her head, stroking her chin as she mulled over the options. “The gold one is more elegant, but it kind of borders on extra. I think the black one is your best bet,” she advised with a decisive nod. “Are you excited for this? Nervous?”

“Little of both,” she replied. There had been a few events that she had been able to attend, but this was undoubtedly the biggest one. And it was on her to network, make connections, and above all – maintain her composure – something she has struggled to achieve over the last month. “Katya keeps trying to psyche me up about it, so I don’t get in my head. But it is Katya, so the success rate is…marginal.”

Nina gripped her shoulder reassuringly. “I’m sure you’ll end up having too much fun to be nervous. Are you rooming with her at the hotel?”

Brooke let out a dry laugh and shook her head. “She’s in charge of room assignments. She’ll probably get a single for herself, and you know where she’s going to put me,” if nothing else, she had taken the time to mentally prepare herself for sharing a room with Vanessa – the last thing she needed was for that to be a surprise. 

“Do you think Vanjie knows too?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “She’s observant when she wants to be, I wouldn’t put it past her to figure out where Katya stands on our relationship.”

Nina arched her brow. “So, it’s a relationship now?” she smirked.

Brooke huffed and crossed her arms. “You know that’s not what I meant,” she paused, chewing her lip. “It’s _something_.”

### 

There was something nostalgic about waiting for the bus to take Brooke and a group of dance students on a weekend excursion. It reminded her of the trips she and her teammates would make for dance competitions in high school. There was a buzz of excitement around the group that took her back to the first competition she went to without her parents. It was pleasantly familiar – everyone packing their luggage up in the storage compartment in the coach bus, filing in and making the important choice of where to sit. 

And maybe it was because she was past that phase that caused her to spend most of the ride passed out with her head against the window. It took a steep pothole to jostle her awake, leaving her confused and hazy. “Where are we?”

“Baltimore,” Katya answered. “You’ll get your alone time soon.”

Brooke rolled her eyes. “I should’ve taken a Xanax and slept all the way there,” she retorted. She spent the rest of the ride staring at the window and talking aimlessly with Katya, beaming when they finally pulled up in front of the hotel. 

Brooke and Vanessa’s room was on the seventh floor, and they were both excited to be that far up when they got off the elevator. Vanessa ran ahead to their room, but still waited before opening the door. “Huh,” she furrowed her brows. “I thought you said we got two full beds.”

Brooke pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled. “That’s what Katya wrote on the itinerary, everyone’s two to a room with their own bed,” but they walked into a room with one queen sized bed in the middle of the room, and she was sure this was no accident. “I should’ve seen this coming, I’m sorry.” 

Vanessa flopped on the bed, unperturbed. “It’s not a big deal, there’s still plenty of room,” she remarked. “I’ll be on my best behavior, I promise.”

“I’m not worried about you, babe,” she chuckled and sat at the edge of the bed. “I’m just wondering if she crossed a line with this arrangement, you know? That sort of unprofessional move could come back and get us both in trouble.”

Vanessa pushed herself up and crawled behind Brooke, getting up on her knees and putting her hands on her shoulders. “Listen, I know you’re feeling some type of way about this, but you need to relax. I’m sure she got a plan for this.”

Brooke smiled wanly, putting her hand on top of hers. “Look at you, being the voice of reason,” she turned her head so they could share a quick peck. “Hey, everyone’s going out for dinner but…do you want to just order room service? My treat,” perhaps it wasn’t the best teacher move to skip out on the group dinner to stay in with Vanessa, but if there was a chance she was getting in trouble for the room, she may as well go all out. 

“Well, normally I ain’t never pass up an opportunity to turn up, but…” she moved to lay back on the bed and pulled Brooke down with her, “I think I can make an exception,” she giggled.

Instead of room service, they ended up ordering pizza from a nearby place. They sat cross-legged on the bed, putting on a movie that they were paying just enough attention to. What they were spending most of their attention on was talking, laughing, learning about each other in ways that would never happen in the classroom.

“You really never had a girlfriend before?” Vanessa asked with her mouth still full, wiping crumbs off her lips. 

Brooke shook her head. “No, I never really thought about dating around. It’s always been easier to just focus on dancing and getting as far as I could possibly get with that. I don’t even know what to expect out of a relationship.”

“I mean, I’ve always wanted that real shit. You know, something like The Notebook,” Vanessa mused.

“So…serendipity and minimal actual effort?”

Vanessa rolled her eyes and pushed Brooke playfully. “Have you considered maybe _this_ is why you’re still single?”

Brooke chuckled and shoved her in response. “It probably doesn’t help,” she agreed then added, quietly, “You’re still here, though.”

“Mmmhmm. You can’t scare me off that easily,” Vanessa curled up against Brooke’s side, draping her arm across her waist and resting her head on her chest. “I’m like a cockroach with tits.”

“That’s…an image,” she kissed her forehead before turning to look at the digital clock on the night table. It was nearly one in the morning – had they really been up so late talking? It amused her, though, how easily time flew by. “We should get to sleep, though. First part of the exhibition is at ten,” reluctantly, she pulled away, clearing the bed of the remnants of their dinner as she got up to open her bag. “Did you bring your Hello Kitty pajamas?” she teased, taking out the oversized t-shirt and shorts she planned on sleeping in. Normally, she slept in little to no clothes, but that was just asking for trouble.

“No bitch, and I’m still gonna get you for that,” Vanessa warned as she pulled a tank top and boyshorts from her bag. “I’m taking those back down to Florida over Thanksgiving and leaving them there with my mom,” she could’ve kept ranting, but she looked over at the right moment to see Brooke fully undressed, and her throat ran dry. 

Brooke, oblivious, was watching tv as she got changed. “Oh, don’t be such a baby. They were cute,” she hummed, turning around only when she was properly covered. “You good, Vanj?”

Vanessa snapped back into reality, realizing she was still standing there with her pajamas in her hand and eyes wide open. For someone that talked a big game about wanting a romance like a PG-13 movie, there wasn’t a single thought in her mind that didn’t have a heavy R rating. “All good,” she answered, making quick work of changing and getting under the covers.

She didn’t want to be presumptuous, but Brooke had a feeling she might’ve been what caused the other girl to get flustered. And she had to admit, she liked being on the other side of that, getting into bed with a broad smile. “Come here, be my little spoon,” she cooed. 

And that was how they fell asleep – Brooke’s arms wrapped securely around Vanessa’s waist; their bodies pressed up together, able to feel each other’s heartbeats. It was the best night’s sleep either of them had in a long time. There was something special about finding comfort in someone’s embrace, allowing oneself to be that relaxed and vulnerable around another person. But it came naturally to them – there was no way to describe the way it felt to wake up like that except right.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Brooke cooed, kissing the top of Vanessa’s head before sitting up and stretching her arms out.

“Fuck, five more minutes…” Vanessa grumbled, rolling over to hug onto her. “Do we have to go to this stupid exhibition?”

Brooke let out a soft laugh, running her fingers through her hair and twirling the brunette locks around her finger. “Yes, we have to go to the stupid exhibition. But we have most of the afternoon between that and the dinner, we can go sightseeing,” she offered.

“Why I wanna see a bunch of memorials to dead white guys?” she huffed. “You’re Canadian, you shouldn’t even care about that.”

“I don’t. But it could be fun,” it was becoming increasingly obvious that she wasn’t going to win this. “Okay, how about after the exhibition, we get some lunch and then come back here to watch some trashy reality tv?” 

Vanessa perked up at that. “See? Now we talking,” she sat up and grabbed a hair tie off her nightstand, pulling her hair up into a ponytail. 

Brooke got up to get clothes from her bag. “Atta girl. I’m gonna take a shower, are you?”

“Nah, I’ll take one before the dinner.”

### 

The dinner was held in a ballroom, elegant and brightly lit. It could easily hold every dance major in NYU and not hit maximum occupancy. As it stood, there were about a few hundred guests, including dance students from several big schools along the east coast. But despite the serious, formal setting, everyone seemed to be happy, mingling and drinking, making the most of the opportunity.

“Shit, I don’t belong here,” Vanessa remarked. Despite playing it off jokingly, her tone had a layer of uneasiness, a tremble of fear.

Brooke squeezed her hand. “You’re here for a reason, just like everyone else. You’re here because you are smart and talented, and you could hold your own against anyone. Go sit with the rest of the class for now, okay? I’ve got to track down Katya,” she kissed her cheek, trying to alleviate the lingering fear before gently nudging her in the other direction.

She didn’t have to look for Katya – she nearly mowed over a group of people getting to her. “You have to tell me everything. I haven’t seen you and Vanjie since the bus ride. Oooh you’re fucking now aren’t you?”

“Lower. Your. Voice,” Brooke narrowed her eyes. “We haven’t done anything,” she looked over at Vanessa and bit her lip, “yet.”

Katya gasped, her jaw hung open and her eyes went wide. “What the fuck? Who are you? What happened to playing all coy and shy?” she blinked rapidly, trying to process the change in attitude.

“Things changed. I can see her as person more than a student. I think I’ve just…gotten over that weirdness and everything else I was hung up on. I’m not about to pull her into the bathroom and put my hand up her dress but I’m okay. No more freaking out.”

Katya grabbed both of her arms, bouncing enthusiastically. “I’m so proud of you! I’m gonna go get us some celebratory drinks,” and as quickly as she arrived, she left. 

### 

“Can you unzip my dress?” Brooke looked over her shoulder and cocked her head, motioning her over. 

“I got you,” Vanessa unzipped her dress, tracing the curve of her back with her eyes, not even registering that the dress had dropped to the floor.

Brooke turned around and put her hand on Vanessa’s waist, moving it up until her fingers brushed against the zipper of her dress. “Here, let me get yours,” her voice was saccharine and her hand glided smoothly until the zipper stopped at the base of her spine.

Vanessa let her dress pool around her ankles, but Brooke’s hand remained on the small of her back. She stepped out of the dress, moving closer to her and looking up as if to ask what the next move was.

There was no talking, though. For once, there was no need for it. They kissed, Brooke’s free hand moving to her jaw, and Vanessa’s hands planted firmly on her hips. The hand on her back pulled her in, their bodies as close as the night before. Only this time, the comfortable warmth was replaced by an ardent heat.

Brooke picked Vanessa up and placed her on the dresser, letting her legs wrap around her waist as she kissed down her jaw and neck. One hand gripped her thigh as the other moved up her back to the clasp of her bra. She paused for a brief moment, making sure she was okay with moving forward. 

“You having trouble back there or what?” Vanessa teased, moving her arms so Brooke could take it off when she finally decided to, then pulled her back up into a kiss. “That’s better,” she murmured against her lips.

“You’re insufferable,” Brooke rolled her eyes fondly as she tossed her own bra to the side. “I don’t know how I put up with you,” she added, kissing her between every couple of words.

Vanessa grinned smugly and draped her arms around Brooke’s neck. “I think you know exactly why, Brooke Lynn,” she cooed. “I think you been knew,” she hopped down from the dresser and backed her onto the bed, hands pinning her shoulders down and knees on either side of her hips. “And it’s about damn time we cut the shit,” she traced her fingers up and down Brooke’s body, running over every groove and curve in her toned torso until they stopped right at the waistband of her panties. She wiggled them off painfully slow, as if to tease her again about the bra.

Brooke let out a discontented whine. “You’re doing that on purpose,” she huffed, undressing Vanessa much faster. She looked up at her amused smirk and pouted. “Don’t give me that face,” she warned. But she was at the point where she couldn’t resist her if she tried, kissing her deeply and parting her legs when she felt a hand nudge between her thighs. 

“What face?” Vanessa asked innocently, earning another frustrated sigh from Brooke. She tilted her head, kissing along her jaw and up to the shell of her ear. “I’ll make it better,” she purred into her ear, pressing her thumb against her clit in tandem and rubbing in small circles. 

Brooke had opened her mouth to reply but let out an embarrassingly high-pitched moan in response. She exhaled sharply as Vanessa worked her fingers against her clit at an increasingly rapid pace, baring her neck when she trailed her lips down the expanse of it. Her heart was pounding, and she could feel how hot her face and chest was, realizing then just how badly she had been craving Vanessa’s touch. Her hips were eagerly arching towards her palm, acting on their own accord.

Vanessa was torn between savoring every moan and reaction and giving in to every one of Brooke’s physical pleas. Her decision landed somewhere in the middle – she kept pace with her hand and moved her free one to her breast, gently fondling it as she pinched and teased her nipple, then repeated her action on the other. She also left a hickey on Brooke’s neck, knowing very well she would be reprimanded for that come morning. But right now, she had her worked into a frenzy, and she couldn’t pass that up. Her lips gently trailed down her chest, then over her breast, licking and sucking while she groped the other one.

“Baby, baby I’m close,” Brooke warned not too long after. She pushed herself against Vanessa’s hand with urgency, moaning in relief when she obliged with faster, more fervent movements. She reached down to tap her cheek, urging her to come up and kiss her as she finally hit her peak. 

This time it was Vanessa who was cut off from speaking, because Brooke had flipped their positions in a split second, leaning down to gently kiss her. “Let me take care of you,” she insisted, and Vanessa offed an enthusiastic nod in response. 

Brooke kissed her again, hands caressing up and down her sides, over her breasts, while her mouth moved to her neck. She was more liberal in marking her skin – Vanessa let out such pretty moans each time, she couldn’t resist. Then she moved down her torso, kissing a trail from her sternum to her lower abdomen, eyes flicking up to watch her reaction. 

Vanessa bit down on her lip, her body all but trembling in anticipation. The control and dominance she had mere minutes ago had fully dissipated; she was putty in Brooke’s hands – or mouth, as she was hoping for. 

There was a moment where Brooke contemplated dragging it out, making Vanessa needy and begging for it. But, mercifully, she decided that could wait for another time. She ducked her head down and glided her tongue between her lips, then gently lapping at her clit. She couldn’t hear Vanessa’s moans quite so clearly with her head between her thighs, but the way her body twitched told her she was doing a good job. She carefully worked a finger in as well, thrusting shallowly as she kept working her tongue in skilled circles, her other hand gripped firmly on Vanessa’s thigh.

It didn’t take long for Vanessa to be reduced to a moaning, trembling mess. What had started as words of praise and desire had descended into incoherent whining and babbling. One hand had gripped a fistful of Brooke’s hair, the other was holding her breast, stimulating herself until she couldn’t handle both. 

Brooke didn’t get the same warning she’d given, but she didn’t need it. When she felt Vanessa’s body tense up, then relax, she knew she’d satisfied her. Despite that, or perhaps because of it, she kept going another moment before relenting, shifting up to give her a soft, tender kiss and rest their foreheads together. 

“I think this is the first time in my life I genuinely don’t know what to say,” Vanessa admitted breathlessly. 

“You don’t have to say anything. Just close your eyes, go to sleep,” Brooke kissed her nose and held her close even though they were both hot and sweaty. On one hand, she had finally got what she had been craving all month. On the other, she knew this was only the beginning.


	5. Us Against the World

At nine-thirty on Sunday morning, the alarm Brooke Lynn set on her phone went off, jerking her awake from her peaceful sleep. She untangled herself from Vanessa just enough to shut it off, fighting the strongest urge to fall back asleep. It was too cozy, even if they were both sweaty and still smelled vaguely of sex. It was much more difficult to push herself up this time, grunting softly as she rubbed her eyes. “We have to get ready,” she finally announced. 

Vanessa groaned and hit her with a pillow. “Like hell we do,” she retorted, rolling over and burying her face in the pillows. 

Brooke rolled her eyes and yanked the blankets off of her. She looked down at her for a moment – her naked body sprawled across the bed a vivid reminder of the night before. She didn’t quite know how she was supposed to feel in the wake of that – there wasn’t regret, which is what she expected. Maybe it was some sort of tentative hesitation, an uncertainty of what was to come next. “The bus is leaving at eleven whether you’re on it or not. Now, I’m taking a shower, you should start packing,” she instructed before exiting into the bathroom.

About five minutes into her shower, Brooke heard the bathroom door open. At first, she figured Vanessa was just going to brush her teeth while she showered, then she felt skin brush against her own. “May I help you?” she chuckled and glanced down at her.

“Only if you want to,” Vanessa winked and leaned over to kiss her shoulder. She lathered up her own hair with shampoo, then squirted shower gel into her hands before rubbing them up and down Brooke’s body.

“Baby, we’re on a schedule,” Brooke said in a half-hearted attempt to dissuade her from continuing. She rinsed out her hair, still not doing anything to deter Vanessa’s wandering hands.

“Exactly. Saving time this way. Plus, we’re being like, environmentally friendly and shit, conservating water,” she reasoned, tilting her head and kissing at her neck.

Brooke smiled and rolled her eyes. “Fine, but keep it above the waist,” she relented, cupping her face to kiss her properly. She turned Vanessa around and rinsed her hair out, a tender affection in every touch. There was a peacefulness between them, a calmness that outweighed the potential sensuality. There was beauty in the simplicity of just enjoying the feeling of each other’s hands against their skin.

“Alright, let’s get going,” Brooke turned off the water and playfully smacked Vanessa’s ass as she stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in a hotel towel, knowing they had to get ready a little faster, because one long shower was just as time consuming as two short ones, if not more. “Besides, don’t you have that competition coming up?”

Vanessa nodded as she blew her hair dry. “Aren’t you going? I thought you’d know all about it,” she remarked offhandedly. When she saw the confusion in Brooke’s expression when she looked up in the mirror, she followed it up with “Aren’t you doing like…a paper or whatever on it? I heard a bunch of TAs’ were invited to write it up,” she explained. 

Brooke frowned with her brows furrowed. “No, I don’t actually know what you’re talking about…” she would have to ask Katya about that, she decided. She had been doing so well in her classes, shouldn’t she have been invited too? “But I’ll come and support you either way,” she offered. 

“Shit, I didn’t wanna make drama or hurt your feelings,” Vanessa frowned. “I’m sure they just fucked up, don’t sweat it,” she assured as they both finished getting ready. 

### 

“Aha!” Brooke held up a sheet of paper and slammed it down on Katya’s desk. 

“Okay, so, why are you in here going through my papers? Did we plan for this? Because this feels like something I would forget,” Katya remarked, having spent the past five minutes watching her assistant rifling through a stack of papers. 

Brooke tapped at the page to draw her attention to it. “Why didn’t I know about this competition? Vanjie said a bunch of TAs’ were invited to it.”

Katya exhaled deeply. “First of all, your girlfriend got some exaggerated information, because like, two were picked,” she told her. “Second, I _did_ nominate you but…some allegations were made that your interpretations could be skewed with a certain bias…”

The flyer crumpled in Brooke’s fist as her gaze narrowed at Katya. “How many people have you been calling her my _girlfriend_ around?” if her career wasn’t on the line, she could have strangled her.

“No one! I don’t think I did, anyway. Listen, I got shitfaced at the dinner and—”

“You got _drunk_ and _outed_ me?!” Brooke started pacing back and forth across the office, grinding her teeth to keep her mouth shut, otherwise she just might have screamed. “Oh, I’m gonna fucking kill you. You better fix this. Fix this or I swear to god I will not let you hear the end of it.”

Katya got up and tried to steady Brooke to get her to calm down. “Listen, I’ve got this. Reel in the mental breakdown. I’m sure it’s nothing serious, or someone would have said something outright. It’s all rumors,” it took a few moments, but she did finally get her to take a few deep breaths and de-escalate the situation. “Wait, so did you guys—”

“Yes! Okay? I wouldn’t be freaking out if there was nothing to freak out about,” Brooke let out an exasperated sigh. “So, fight your natural instincts and keep your fucking mouth shut, and _maybe_ I’ll actually tell you the dirty details. Are we good?” she waited for Katya to confirm with a nod before she fully relaxed. “Good. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

### 

At two in the morning, Brooke was fast asleep. That was until she heard a knock at the door. Sleepy and confused, she haphazardly tied a robe around her waist and opened the door. “Vanjie? Are you okay?” she gently ushered her inside and shut the door behind her. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“This competition got me fucked up, that’s what’s wrong,” Vanessa replied, walking right through the apartment and flopping down on Brooke’s bed. “Some of these hoes been dancing since birth or got that classical training you’re so proud of. I don’t know if I can compete with that,” she was shaken, doing her best to avoid being on the verge of tears. It was finally hitting her how intense the competitive world could be, and it was a lot to take in.

Brooke was quick to rush to her comfort, getting into bed and pulling Vanessa close, cradling her in her lap. She placed gentle kisses over her head and forehead, rubbing her back soothingly. “NYU hit an all-time low acceptance rate this year. That means only the best of the best were accepted – they chose you out of thousands of dance students across the country. If that doesn’t prove you belong here, I don’t know what does,” she cupped her jaw, making their eyes meet. “You, Vanessa Mateo, are talented, smart, beautiful, and if whoever’s judging this competition sees half of what I do in you, there’s nothing stopping you,” she saw a single tear slip down Vanessa’s cheek and kissed it away, then pulled back to gently run her thumb across the spot. “Do you want to stay here tonight?”

Vanessa nodded sheepishly, shifting so she and Brooke could both get under the covers. “I’m sorry for waking you and whatever,” she mumbled, face buried in the crook of her neck. “I know I’m a lot to deal with, plenty of people say so, that I’m too messy and extra,” there was a pang of guilt in her voice. Just because she wasn’t the most well-spoken didn’t mean she was stupid – she knew how people saw her – someone that was loud and brash, that didn’t know when enough was enough. While she often wore it as a badge of honor, she didn’t want to scare off people she cared about – people like Brooke Lynn.

“You are, but that’s what makes you the Vanjie I’ve grown so fond of,” Brooke tilted her chin up and pecked her lips. “You’re unpredictable and over the top, but sometimes people need a little spice in their lives. I know mine would be far too boring without you in it, and as fucking crazy as you are, you still manage to win over everyone around you. Not a lot of people can do that,” she told her, kissing her once more. 

“How d’you always know what to say to get me outta my head?” Vanessa asked. Her fingers aimlessly twirled around the strings of Brooke’s robe, occasionally pushing the fabric to the side to let her fingertips run across the exposed strip of skin that went from her navel to between her breasts. Even after finally knowing her body intimately, she still savored each and every time she got to touch her.

Brooke beamed affectionately, laying back onto the bed, allowing Vanessa to lay on top of her. “Because I want you to know that I’m in your corner, even if it’s us against the world,” with the exchange she had with Katya earlier in the week, she worried that might be the case, but she didn’t want her to see her sweat. The girl on top of her, who had come to her in distress in the middle of the night, didn’t need to be burdened with the potential damage their relationship could have on her own future, she had so much on her plate. “Now, do you think you’ll be able to get some sleep tonight?”

Vanessa looked up at Brooke and puckered her lips expectantly. After receiving another few kisses, she nodded. “I can now.”

### 

With October in full swing, a gentle chill had made its way through the New York City air. Gone were the sweaty afternoons and the bug-filled nights, and the rooftop track on top of one of the many NYU buildings was significantly less populated than it was only a week before. It was, however, occupied by Brooke and Vanessa, who took advantage of their down time to take a stroll, arms linked with their hands shoved into their sweatshirt pockets.

“You have to admit, competing on the roof is pretty cool,” Brooke remarked. It was only three days before Vanessa’s competition, and working through her nerves and her own frustration hadn’t been easy, but they liked to believe they had finally gotten to a point of comfortably coping.

“I could knock one of those other bitches off the ledge when no one’s looking,” Vanessa mused, looking out at the city skyline. “We’re pretty high up, you never know.”

Brooke sighed and let out a soft chuckle. “I don’t know how many times I’ve got to tell you that sabotage isn’t the answer,” she cooed. “Can you promise me you’ll be on your best behavior until this whole thing is over?”

“Absolutely not.”

That was what Brooke expected, if she were being honest with herself. “Alright come on, let’s get inside before it gets too cold,” she shifted and got Vanessa on to her back, piggybacking her until they reached the main level of the building, giggling the whole way down. She carefully placed her back on the ground, holding her hand as they started towards the door.

That was, until, a girl crossed their path out of seemingly nowhere. “Hey, you’re Vanessa, right?” her gaze was fixed squarely on her with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I’m Lily, we’re in the same competition on Friday,” she told her, holding her hand out.

Vanessa looked her over – ginger hair, cerulean eyes, a light dusting of freckles on particularly pale skin – she recognized this girl instantly. She had watched her performances online, and already considered her stiff competition. But she swallowed her anxiety and shook her hand. “Yeah, think I saw your name on the list or something. This is Brooke, she, uh, has been helping me practice,” this was technically true, and covered her ass, still unsure of how public to make their relationship.

Not that it mattered, apparently, as Lily hardly acknowledged Brooke’s existence beyond an “Oh, hi,” without taking her eyes off of Vanessa. “Anyway, I wanted to wish you good luck! Also, I’m having a party afterwards to celebrate, win or lose, you should come,” she then added “Your friend can come too,” with disinterest.

“Uh, yeah…” there was hesitation in Vanessa’s voice, glancing between Lily and Brooke. “We can stop by for a few. I love a good party,” that was a satisfactory answer, at least that’s what she concluded when neither of the other girls had a change in facial expression.

“Cool! See you at the competition, unless you’re practicing here before then, I’ll be around,” her voice was almost cloyingly sweet, but she hugged Vanessa before walking off.

Vanessa scratched the back of her head with her free hand, looking sideways as the girl left. “Huh, usually my competition’s a lot bitchier but she seemed pretty—ow! Are you trying to break my hand?” she asked, suddenly becoming aware of the death grip Brooke had on her.

“I don’t like her,” Brooke said flatly. It was the first time she had verbalized a negative opinion towards anyone to Vanessa, and her tone was devoid of any humor or sarcasm.

“Well shit, if she bothers you that much, I won’t practice here,” Vanessa shrugged. There were other gyms, and it was an easy choice between location and Brooke’s comfort as far as she was concerned.

There was a beat of tense silence, Brooke’s lips pressed into a thin line as she seemed deep in thought. “Oh no baby, you’re practicing here…but not til I’m done with you,” her stoic expression cracked into a smirk, bringing a sense of relief to Vanessa.

And when Vanessa found herself pinned to her dorm room wall, her head pressing firmly against the wood, she was much more than relieved.

Brooke was attacking Vanessa’s neck, leaving hickey after hickey on every clean spot of skin she found, moving from the edge of her jaw to the base of her collarbone. One hand kept Vanessa’s shoulder pinned to the door – as if she would’ve gone anywhere – and the other pushed haphazardly into her yoga pants, thrusting and scissoring two fingers inside of her and using her thumb to stimulate her clit. She didn’t breathe a word until she knew she had gotten the other off, then everything slowed to a halt. Brooke released the hold she had on Vanessa, then placed a chaste kiss on her lips – one that had felt so out of place after what had taken place. “Let’s see her try to ignore that,” she said out loud to herself, admiring the handiwork she’d completed.

“God damn, Brooke Lynn! You came outta left field with one, I love it,” Vanessa remarked as she caught her breath, padding after Brooke, who had already made her way on to the bed. She would have never anticipated such jealousy out of her, but if that was the result, she didn’t mind it one bit.


	6. Love's Not a Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, I hate how this is the chapter to go up in the wake of the reunion too, but maybe we can cope through some angsty fiction together lol. You can rant at me about it (or the fic, or anything else really) over at my tumblr, redvanjie.tumblr.com if ya want

Competition, almost by definition, creates a high-pressure situation for those involved. Competing against someone your girlfriend wants to murder, however, is a whole other echelon of stress. Vanessa did her best to ignore the anxiety and doubt it all brought, letting her determination conquer an propel her into the competition full force. She was a firecracker on the floor, she commanded the crowds’ attention and received it in abundance.

And as quickly as it began, it ended, that was the case for the contestants especially. Everyone on the floor and in the audience held their breath in anticipation. Third place was called, and a petite blonde beamed as she took her spot on the podium, holding up her trophy with glee. Tension only grew before the next place was announced. 

“In second place, from right here at New York University, Vanessa Mateo!”

Vanessa was happy, of course she was. But second place almost felt worse than first, because she missed the winning title by that much. Still, she took her place and put on her most dazzling smile as she was handed her trophy, and in a day’s time she knew she would be able to appreciate the award for what it really was. She listened in anticipation for the winner to be announced – she was ready to size up whatever stand-out was in the contest, she wasn’t going to let herself be intimidated. 

“And the first-place winner, from Julliard, Lily Byrne!”

Of course, _she_ won, Vanessa thought. Out of everyone she could’ve lost to, it was the one person that was already stirring the pot between herself and Brooke Lynn. Without that outlying factor, she probably would not have minded losing to her – her performance was breathtaking, and, as much as she didn’t want to admit it, she deserved the win. 

Besides, if Brooke’s reaction was to be anything like it was when they first met Lily, this might not be a loss at all. Ever since she had gotten a taste of what jealousy could do to her, she had been craving more, but nothing had quite gotten her to that point again, which Vanessa found frustrating in every sense of the word. And her friends were useless in their advice, “just tell her what you want” – they didn’t _get_ it, it wouldn’t be the same. It was spur of the moment, unprompted, passionate – you can’t just plan it out by request. 

But Brooke Lynn seemed damn cheerful when she approached Vanessa, she hugged her tight, picking her up and spinning her around. “You did so well, baby,” she set her down and kissed her cheek. “I know you’ll get the gold next time,” she cooed, her arms still snugly around her. When she looked up, she noticed two women around her age looking at them, and they were standing just close enough for her to eavesdrop.

“See? I told you she’s the one that, you know…” one of them said, making an obscene gesture with two fingers and her tongue. Both girls giggled, causing Brooke to blush fiercely and abruptly drop her grasp on Vanessa and shove her hands into the pockets of her jeans.

“Let’s get out of here, Vanj,” Brooke murmured, heading towards the exit with Vanessa, who looked resigned to the idea that she was definitely not getting any rough, celebratory or angry sex tonight. But they had only gotten halfway towards the exit when they faced another interruption.

Lily had just gotten away from the congratulatory crowd around her to make her way over to the couple, or to Vanessa anyway. She caught her in a bear hug until the shorter girl started to wriggle in discomfort – not from the tightness of the grip, but how Brooke’s expression was one of dejection than of fiery disdain, like she simply didn’t have the energy to deal with Lily’s blatant flirtation, perhaps due to the gossip only moments prior.

“You were _so_ great out there, I totally thought you were gonna win,” Lily chirped. “You’re still coming to my party tomorrow, right?” as with last time, she was intentionally icing Brooke out to focus on Vanessa but holding herself in such a way that only the couple knew what was happening. 

Vanessa hesitated, glancing towards Brooke for confirmation. When she got the silent affirmation, she turned back to Lily and nodded. “Yeah, we’ll be there. I don’t skip out on parties,” she said with a forced laugh, deciding it was best to lighten the mood and alleviate the tension, or try to, at least.

“Oh yay! By the way, it’s gonna be a Halloween theme, so wear a cute costume,” Lily hummed. “Though any costume would be cute on you,” she winked and trotted back off with her trophy in tow.

Brooke exhaled deeply, as if she was holding her breath through the whole exchange. “That girl is exhausting,” she murmured, pinching the bridge of her nose. “How does someone so bubbly suck the life out of me? She’s gotta be a wolf in sheep’s clothing.”

Vanessa’s brows knitted. “Explain the metaphor while we go costume shopping.”

### 

“You know I’m only doing this for you, right?” Vanessa remarked as she looked at herself in the mirror. “And because I look good as hell. I ain’t never thought of trynna rock orange hair,” she added, adjusting the wig she had on. It fit nicely but looked far from realistic. “Who are we again?”

Brooke sighed as she pulled her hair into pigtails. This was the fourth time she had received this question. “You’re Poison Ivy and I’m Harley Quinn,” she replied. While she wasn’t the one that suggested couple’s costumes, she had suggested the comic book pair – mostly because Vanessa had been insistent on being able to wear a ‘slutty’ costume because ‘it’s tradition’. “Grab a coat, you’ll freeze if you go outside like that,” she added.

Vanessa rolled her eyes but grabbed a coat – Brooke wasn’t wrong – her costume consisted of a green bustier and panty adorn with plastic leaves paired with tights and knee-high boots in the same color scheme. “Are you just gonna go out in that?” she asked and gestured to Brooke’s costume which, while covering her entire body, was skin-tight and not very thick. 

“Of course not, let’s go,” she said, walking out the door as she buttoned up her coat. 

Lily’s apartment was a ten-minute uber ride away, and the girls were in good spirits by the time they had gotten inside. There was a couple dozen guests, all dressed in various Halloween costumes and mingling throughout the festively decorated space. It was busy enough that it took almost ten minutes before the host had even spotted them. 

Once she did, she made a beeline right towards them. “Vanessa! You came!” Lily’s costume wasn’t easily discernible to either of them – it seemed like something that could be worn to class. “You look so cute! See, I’m dressed as Cheryl Blossom from Riverdale, get it? Because of the hair?” the blank stares she received did not phase her, as if she hadn’t even noticed. “Come with me, you have to meet the other dancers,” Vanessa couldn’t object before she was dragged to the other side of the room.

This left Brooke alone, holding both of their coats. She swallowed thickly and took a deep breath, hanging up their coats in a nearby closet before pouring herself a drink. _Everything is fine, you can’t control who flirts with her_ , her internal monologue rang out. She leaned against the counter, looking to see if she could spot Vanessa in the crowd while ignoring the guy trying to grill her on DC Comics trivia. 

Even if it was an easy question, Brooke hadn’t even listened, “I don’t know, and I don’t care,” she said flatly, pushing past him as she went to search for her partner in crime. She scanned every person she walked past, nearly stopping a girl dressed as Poison Ivy before realizing she was too tall and too white to be _her_ Poison Ivy.

Finally, Brooke heard Vanessa’s distinct laugh and was able to pinpoint her. Granted, she could probably pick Vanessa out of a crowd of hundreds from her laugh alone. She took a deep breath and counted backwards from ten, not wanting to come in hot and make a scene. In fact, she was trying to stay positive – it could be good for Vanessa to make friends with dancers at Julliard, it’s never too early to start networking, right? 

But when Brooke got close enough to see what was going on, she realized Vanessa was fucking far from networking. No, instead she and Lily were dancing and giggling, dancing too close for far too long. Lily had an arm draped around her shoulder and playing with her wig as if it were her hair. Every now and then, her hand would wander and rest on her waist while she would grind up against her, all while Vanessa didn’t bother to keep her distance. In fact, she seemed to be _inviting_ the attention.

“Hey Brooke Lynn,” Vanessa greeted with a clearly faux-innocent tone. She had stilled her dancing to a halt and took a few steps away from Lily. 

Lily seemed a little too proud of herself for having gotten that far with the obviously taken girl. It was just another competition that she had won, and she looked from Vanessa to Brooke as if she were dangling another trophy in front of her face. 

Brooke pressed her lips together, fighting the lump in her throat. Her heart was pounding, and her cheeks were red, and the only thing covering that was the black mask around her eyes. “Real classy, Vanjie,” she hissed, turning on her heel and heading straight for the door, stopping only to grab her coat on the way out.

Vanessa instantly pushed Lily off of her, realizing her plan to get Brooke riled up was blowing up horrendously. “Brooke! Brooke Lynn! Wait up!” she shouted, racing after her. She, too, had haphazardly yanked her coat off the hanger as she left, knocking down several others in the process. She ran as fast as her boots would allow, desperate to catch up with her. It wasn’t until they were outside of the building that she had finally managed to. “Brooke, hold on, please,” she pleaded breathlessly. 

And she did, grinding to a halt and turning to face her with crossed arms and a narrowed gaze. A couple of tears had slipped out of her eyes, but they had been caught under her eye mask, the last thing she wanted was to be reduced to that much of a weak mess in front of her. The mask couldn’t hide all of the anger and hurt in her expression, however. “What the fuck was that, Vanessa?”

That caused Vanessa to freeze in her tracks. Brooke hadn’t used her real name once in the duration of their time together. From her first introduction, she was _always_ Vanjie, if not a pet name – which she secretly liked even more. She felt like a child being scolded, meek and unnerved. “It wasn’t anything for real, I was just fucking around, I swear!”

“I _know_ you were just ‘fucking around’,” Brooke spat. “You know how I feel about how she acts around you, and how hard it’s been to not let it get to me. So, you go let her feel up on you for what? To see how I’d react? To make me jealous? What sort of childish bullshit is that?” 

Vanessa looked down, tail between her legs. “No…I mean yeah, I guess that was kinda it. But I didn’t want to upset you, I just…the day we met Lily, you got so intense and passionate and…fuck, gave me the best damn orgasm I’d ever had. I wasn’t gonna let it go anywhere, I didn’t kiss her or nothing.”

Brooke took a deep breath, closing her eyes tight. She exhaled and opened her eyes, though it was more like she was looking through Vanessa than at her. “So, this was about sex?” she clasped her hands behind her neck and stared up at the cloudy night’s sky. “Is this a game to you? Has this whole thing just been a fucking game?” she shook her head and laughed bitterly. “This is all my fault. I knew this was going to blow up in my face,” her voice was strained, and she was no longer even able to look her in the eye. It was all too much.

“Of course, this isn’t a fucking game!” Vanessa huffed. “But I thought you trusted me. You didn’t need to freak and storm out like that!”

“The only thing I didn’t need to do was fall in love with you!” Brooke shouted. 

Then there was silence. She hadn’t admitted to anyone, not even herself, just how strong her feelings had grown. She was in way over her head, in a powder keg a second away from exploding. So, before Vanessa could respond, she ran off. 

### 

“Let it out, honey. It’s going to be okay,” Nina soothed as Brooke cried with her head in her lap. 

Nina was, undoubtedly, the one person Brooke felt safe enough to be completely vulnerable with. Normally she would have just gone home and drank herself to sleep, but the wounds were so fresh and cut so deep. And on top of that, she had just told Vanessa she’d fallen in love with her. Those were heavily weighted words. 

“I don’t even know if I meant it, or if it was just the heat of the moment…but shit, I didn’t think I could feel so strongly for someone after two months. And to let her play me like that, it’s fucking humiliating,” Brooke sniffled, reaching out to grab a tissue and wipe her eyes. There were too many emotions, it felt like she was slipping into a pit of quicksand and Nina was the rope she had to grab onto to keep from drowning. She kept replaying that night over and over – the hurt she felt seeing Vanessa and Lily, the explosive anger she felt when she chewed her out in front of the apartment building – how was she supposed to go to class on Monday and act like everything was fine? That meant that, on top of everything else, she was going to have to end up telling Katya about what happened, too. 

“I’m not sure if this makes it better or worse, but the things people say in moments of passion are often the most truthful. You know, like how they say drunken words are sober thoughts? Maybe ‘in love’ is a little strong, but you wouldn’t care so much if you didn’t love her at least a little,” Nina told her, gently stroking her hair. “It’s okay to open your heart, even when it starts to ache. Sometimes we need that to feel alive.”

Brooke slowly sat up, wiping her eyes and shifting to a cross-legged position. She had since traded her Harley Quinn bodysuit for an over-sized t-shirt and a makeup-free face. “It’s just…the worst thing about it is if I am in love with her, she couldn’t possibly love me back. You don’t just play with someone’s feelings if you love them… _am_ I overreacting?”

“Maybe, but you’re hurting. Your feelings are valid. I think you need some time to recuperate, maybe call in sick on Monday. I’ll always be here to help you either way,” Nina promised. 

Brooke was torn between accepting that her feelings were valid and suppressing them to move on. Part of her resented Vanessa for having such an impact on her, but maybe Nina was right. Despite all of the hurt, this was the most alive, and the most human she had felt in a long time.


	7. (You Are) The Music in Me

After going back and forth about it over the weekend, Brooke Lynn decided she would attempt to go to class on Monday. She went through all the steps; shower, dress, eat quickly, she had made it all the way to the visual arts building before she panicked. The second she caught sight of Vanessa, all resolve went out the window and she ducked into the first room available.

The room she ended up in turned out to be the auditorium. There were various people milling about, but most occupants were on the stage, rehearsing for the winter musical – RENT. No one particularly minded, or even noticed, Brooke’s presence, allowing her to quietly find a spot to sit and watch. She had never been much of a musical theatre person, but she appreciated the soundtrack and found herself aimlessly humming along to the song they were performing. 

“Brooke Lynn? Is that you?” a girl had spotted her from the front of the auditorium and had gotten all the way to the seat next to her without being noticed. “What brings you over here?”

Brooke looked over and winced. The girl’s name was Donna, a senior who she’d had a fling with the year prior, who had pushed for them to start dating and was promptly ghosted. Frankly, Brooke was surprised Donna seemed happy to see her. “Oh, I just…didn’t feel like making it to class today. I’m Katya’s TA now, she’ll understand,” she was talking at her more than to her, the last thing she needed was Donna trying to weasel her way back into the picture too. 

“So, the rumors are true? You hooked up with one of her students?” Donna sat cross-legged and sideways on the chair and looked at her curiously. “Is that why you’re here? Did things go bad?”

Abruptly, Brooke got up and grabbed her bag. “I don’t need this right now,” she muttered and briskly walked out and went right back to her apartment. She should have just stayed in bed, she thought. 

But on her way back, she was stopped by yet another girl she recognized. This time it was Vanessa’s roommate, whose name was embarrassingly lost on her in that moment. She stopped her on the sidewalk and pulled her to the side. “Listen, it’s really none of my business, but you need to consider forgiving Vanessa. Not for her sake, for mine. She doesn’t shut up about you, even in her _sleep_ ,” and the roommate even sounded exhausted.

“You’re right, it is none of your business. Get some earplugs,” Brooke huffed and walked past her, praying she could finally get back to her apartment in peace, but even her own subconscious kept playing showtunes on repeat.

_‘Take your brown eyes, your pretty smile, your silhouette…no day but today…’_

### 

“She wasn’t in class today. What if she skipped town?” Vanessa was pacing back and forth in her dorm while a beleaguered A’keria sat on her bed, subjected to another round of her friend going on about Brooke Lynn.

“You think she skipped town cause she’s mad at you?” A’keria stared at her incredulously. “Are you even listening to yourself right now? She probably just stayed at home or whatever,” she pointed out, looking up at the sound of a knock at the door. “Please, lord, let that be Brooke Lynn,” she muttered putting her hands together as if in prayer.It was not, it was Blair. “Hey guys,” she turned to Vanessa, “Okay, latest Brooke Lynn update is that my friend, Donna, saw her in the auditorium earlier and she said that she seemed sad and frustrated,” she recalled. 

“Fuck, what do I do about this?” Vanessa groaned, plopping herself down on the floor. “What if she meant it? What if she does love me, but I ruined it by being an asshole?” she rests her head against the wall. “I need to do something, just being sorry isn’t gonna cut it anymore.”

“Oh! Big romantic gesture! I love these, I bet we could think of something,” Blair bounced on her heels cheerfully. “Well…you don’t sing or play piano, so that eliminates like, half of my ideas…but we’ll still think of something!” she assured. “What about a flash mob?”

Vanessa shook her head. “That’s too over the top, Brooke Lynn wouldn’t go for something that extra,” she explained. “I wanna do something, but she’s not gonna be happy if it’s somewhere crowded. She hates people seeing her emotions,” she sunk down to sit on the floor and groaned. “Fuck, y’all, I’ve never fucked up like this before.”

“Personally, I think both of you are way too worked up about this. Just jump the redheaded bitch and call it a day,” A’keria remarked. 

“You know Brooke would be all ‘beating her up won’t solve anything’,” Vanessa rolled her eyes, though that might not stop her at this point. As mad at herself as she was, she felt like Lily needed to take some of the blame, it would make her feel better, that was for sure. 

But then she was pulled from her train of thought when an alarm went off on her phone. “I gotta go to class, but we ain’t done brainstorming,” she said as she got up, the three of them leaving the dorm and going their separate ways. 

Vanessa knew things were bad when she was actually relieved to be in class, and this one was actually sort of fun. It was the one she sat next to Yvie in, and they had come to appreciate each other’s company and chat candidly when they could. “Can I ask you something?” she asked when her classmate sat down. 

“Go for it,” Yvie propped her elbow up on the desk and rest her chin on the palm of her hand.

“Let’s say you did something that really pissed off someone you care about and they don’t want to talk to you. What sort of, like…big gesture would you do to let them know how sorry you are?” One thing Vanessa was able to count on Yvie for was her honesty. While her friends did more to try to spare her feelings, sometimes it was necessary to have an outside perspective. 

Yvie tilted her head and strummed her fingers against the desk. “Well, if just talking is out of the question, you still have to work on their terms. Maybe ask someone close to them and see what they suggest. Just don’t do something stupid and extra, like a flash mob,” she told her.

Vanessa pursed her lips as she listened, quickly concluding that Yvie was right. She didn’t know too many people in Brooke Lynn’s life, having gathered that most of her family remained in Canada. But she knew there was one person that would be able to help her.

### 

“I have been waiting for this moment for so long,” Katya grinned, sitting upright in her office chair and leaning forward.

“I feel like that’s a conversation for another day,” Vanessa remarked. “Anyway, what do I do? It’s been like, three days and I feel like I’m losing my goddamn mind.”

Katya was still giddy but took on a more pensive expression. She was silent for a few moments, then suddenly brightened right back up. “The student radio show!” she looked around until she found the flyer about it. “Brooke did it during her undergrad, so she’s still sentimental about it. She listens to it every week, Tuesday evenings. Go ask them to play a song and give them a message to read. Like that episode of Friends except it works because you’re not a heterosexual douchebag.”

Vanessa nodded, taking the flyer. “I knew you’d come through,” she beamed. “Thanks!” she waved and left. She went straight back to her dorm and opened her laptop and notebook. She needed the perfect song, and the perfect note to go with it. With a google search of ‘best love songs to apologize with’ open and a clean page of paper ready to go, she cracked her knuckles and got to work.

By one in the morning Vanessa had moved on to a second notebook and had finally believed she had captured her feelings into the best of her abilities. And the song? Well, she couldn’t have picked a better one. The lyrics fit so well; it was as if it was written for her to play for Brooke Lynn. She only hoped she would feel the same way.

### 

Early the next morning, Vanessa made her way into the building where the radio show was done. It was foggy and dark, foreshadowing rain, and she only hoped that didn’t reflect the outcome of her plan. While she found the building easily, she did get a little lost finding the actual recording room. After about ten minutes of confusion and wandering, she found just where she needed to be.

As luck would have it, the room was occupied with students that worked on the show, and luckier still, one of the students was Yvie, so Vanessa ran right towards her. “Yvie, I took your advice and now I need your help again to follow through,” she went over and sat at the other side of the desk. “I talked to someone close to the person and—”

“You can just say Brooke Lynn, you know,” Yvie cut her off, “Everyone’s like, aware that something’s happening. It’s an open secret, like Rock Hudson.”

“Who that?”

Vanessa rifled through her bag until she pulled out a sheet of paper. There were several lines that had been crossed out and rewritten, but the bottom half of the page contained a coherent note. “I need you to read this note and play that song tomorrow during your show. Don’t proofread it or nothing, she’s gotta know this came from me,” she was fidgeting with her hands and shifting around in her seat. This could be her only chance at winning Brooke Lynn over. 

“For what it’s worth, I’m rooting for you guys. I have no idea why, I just feel like this needs to work out,” Yvie remarked offhandedly. 

“Thanks, I think.”

### 

Tuesdays were relatively decent days for Brooke Lynn. She got to be a student instead of a teacher in class and was home in time to cook herself an actual meal for dinner, this time without nearly killing herself or setting anything on fire. It was a nice way to distract herself from her stresses and woes. Especially since, on top of everything else, it had been drearily raining from the moment she woke up.

At this point, she had moved on from her initial fury towards Vanessa, but she was still angry, still hurt. But above anything else she was embarrassed. She was embarrassed that she had let herself fall so easily, that she had gotten sucked in by – quoting the song that had been stuck in her head – brown eyes, a pretty smile, and silhouette. Incidentally, she doubted she would ever be able to listen to the RENT soundtrack again. 

But still, she _knew_ better. She didn’t even date and all of the sudden she was vulnerable and lovesick towards someone that would flirt with a girl dressed like a CW character just to make her jealous. Suffice it to say, the past couple months have been a rollercoaster.

“Time for the one consistent staple in my life,” Brooke murmured to herself, sitting down with her dinner at the table and her phone hooked up to a Bluetooth speaker. She checked the time – two minutes to six – the radio show was about to start. 

The introduction went as it usually did, and Brooke Lynn was tuning in and out as she ate. That was until the first song ended and the announcer said something that captured her attention.

“This next song was requested by my fellow dance major, Vanessa Mateo, aka Vanjie,” Brooke’s heart skipped a beat and her fork dropped on to her plate. She quickly made the volume louder and listened intently. 

“Vanjie wrote a note that she asked me to read: ‘I won’t say your name ‘cause I know you get paranoid when it comes to you and me. But I need you to know how fucking sorry I am that I hurt you. It was stupid and not worth making you that upset. And I know sometimes ‘sorry’ isn’t enough, but it’d mean a lot if you gave me one more chance. If you will, you know where to find me’,” Yvie read. “Aww, that was sweet, wasn’t it? And with that, from Vanjie to ‘you know who you are’, this is Songbird by Fleetwood Mac.”

If Brooke hadn’t already been close to tears from Vanessa’s note, the song would have done the trick. Within the first few lines the dam broke and tears streamed down her cheeks. By the time the chorus hit, she was reduced to sobs.

_“And the songbirds are singing, like they know the score._  
  
_And I love you, I love you, I love you, like never before.”_

When the song ended, there was no doubt in Brooke’s mind as to what she had to do. She went to the bathroom to wash her face and get herself together. And with that, her coat and shoes were on and she was out the door. 

Vanessa had said in her note that Brooke would know where to find her, and apparently that had rung true, because the next thing she knew, she was running into the dance studio with a certainty that must have come from somewhere other than her conscious brain. It didn’t matter that she was soaked and shivering, she knew that this was where she needed to be. 

The Vanessa that stood in the dance studio was one that Brooke had never seen before. She looked meek, hesitant, curling into herself. This was Vanessa without the confidence and attitude she brandished like weapons. She looked terrified, and her red, watery eyes made it clear that she had been crying too. Her bottom lip quivered as she looked up at her. “You showed up.”

Brooke wordlessly ran across the room to Vanessa, grabbing her head and kissing her fiercely. When she pulled away, she picked her up and hugged her tight and damn it, tears were slipping out again. “How dare you turn me into a hopeless romantic?” she laughed through the tears before eventually setting her down. “You have me wrapped around your pretty little finger, it’s just not fair.”

Vanessa was tearing up again too, which admittedly made Brooke feel a little better about her own inability to keep her feelings under control. She wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her sweater and smiled up at her. “I won’t take that for granted no more. No more foolishness neither. So, we’re giving us another shot?” she asked because, despite everything that’d just happened, she needed the verbal confirmation. 

“Yes. We may not be able to pick up right where we left off, but I can’t picture myself with anyone but you,” Brooke confessed. They would have to try a little harder, having undone some of the trust they’d built. But she had faith in Vanessa, and faith in their relationship. She took a half step back to take off her coat. “Can we sit? That took a lot out of me,” she admitted and sat with her back against the wall. 

Vanessa sat in Brooke’s lap, a space she fit perfectly in. She combed her fingers through her damp, blonde hair and kissed her forehead. “Y’know, you’ve changed me too. Got me being responsible, taking care of myself. I used to think that shit was boring, but it feels healthy and good.”

Brooke couldn’t help but giggle at that. “I’m glad I coerced you into self-care,” she teased. She rubbed her hand up and down Vanessa’s back and kissed lightly along her jaw. “You know what we haven’t done yet? Gone on an actual date. Let’s do something fun this weekend, just you and me, maybe venture outside the city…”

“Shit, if I didn’t think we’d get caught, I’d show you how good of an idea I think that is,” Vanessa winked playfully as she leaned up and kissed her. 

Brooke laughed and kissed back languidly. “Baby, I don’t have the energy for that right now anyway. What I’m gonna do is bring you back to my apartment, make you try what I made for dinner, then we’re gonna watch some shitty movies until we fall asleep.”

Vanessa smiled and let Brooke pick her up. As they went outside, they realized the rain had cleared and left them with a calm night – or as calm as a night in New York City could be. “It’s a sign,” she joked.

But sometimes the universe was funny like that, whether it was a change in the weather or hearing the right song, sometimes life brings you exactly where you need to be. And hopefully, it put Brooke Lynn and Vanessa on the path to rebuilding their relationship.


	8. How Do You Say 'Kiss Me'?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance to any native Spanish speakers, I promise I tried my best with the translations.

“Please, please, _please_? Come on, I think you owe me a little,” Brooke Lynn whined as she padded behind Katya, who was pacing back and forth in the studio. This back and forth had been going on for nearly twenty minutes at that point, but she was fairly certain she was wearing her down. 

Katya sighed and came to a halt, nearly making Brooke Lynn crash into her. “Fine. But you’re not allowed to complain about the dinner fiasco anymore,” she paused to think. “Come by my apartment tomorrow morning. But I swear, if you fuck up my car—”

“I couldn’t _possibly_ treat it any worse than you do,” Brooke retorted before perking up. “Thank you!” she hugged her tightly and ran right back out the door. While she had a car back in Canada, there was no reason for her to bring it down to the city. At least, she never thought there was a reason until she found herself in need of a ride to take a pretty Latina on a scenic date out on Long Island. 

Brooke Lynn went right from the studio to Vanessa’s dorm, knocking excitedly on the door and hardly waiting a second after she opened it. “Everything’s in place for tomorrow. It’s gonna be great,” she let herself in to the dorm and sat on Vanessa’s bed. “You’re going to have so much fun, I promise,” she regretted saying that the instant it came out of her mouth, though, afraid that she had just jinxed things and unleashed a horrible chain of events to follow. Not that she would ever announce that fear. 

Vanessa sat down on Brooke’s lap, twirling her hair around her fingers and placing little kisses over her face. “You know you don’t gotta do nothing crazy for me, right?” she left a small hickey at the base of her jaw. “We don’t have to do anything, or wear anything…”

“There will be plenty of time for that too, I promise,” Brooke cooed, holding her head in place to kiss her properly. “Just let me do something cute for you, ya stubborn bitch, okay?” she let out a jokingly exasperated huff, then a surprised gasp when Vanessa pinned her down to the bed.

Vanessa lingered over her for a moment, then kissed her deeply. “I look forward to it.”

### 

The drive took Brooke Lynn and Vanessa a little over an hour and a half, lucking out with minimal traffic. However, it took Vanessa all of twenty minutes to doze off and sleep the rest of the way there, lucking out even further in avoiding any sharp turns, bumps, or potholes. Brooke Lynn didn’t mind either way, of course. She would steal glances at her sleeping girlfriend every now and then and find it adorable, and she almost hated to wake her when they arrived at the destination. “Vanjie, baby, we’re here,” she gently shook her awake. 

“I’m up, I’m up,” Vanessa sat up, a bit disoriented. She blinked rapidly as she fully woke up, looking around. She saw rows and rows of trees surrounded by an expanse of fall foliage. As someone who only alternated between Manhattan and Florida, it wasn’t a sight she saw very often, nearly tripping over herself to get out of the car and take a picture. “Brooke Lynn! Get out here and look at this!”

Brooke Lynn giggled fondly as she got out of the car. “It’s a beautiful day out, isn’t it?” she wrapped her arm around Vanessa’s waist and kissed her cheek. “C’mon, we didn’t come all the way out here just to look at trees. We came to pick apples off them,” she hummed, leading her into the orchard, where she paid for a bag for each of them before looking around. 

Vanessa tilted her head as she looked down the rows of trees. “How many different types of apples are there?” she asked with furrowed brows. 

“The website said twenty-seven,” Brooke recalled as they began to walk down the rows. “I think we should get the ones that aren’t in grocery stores. Or even like, Whole Foods,” she mused, plucking an apple from a tree, something that was quite easy for her to do at her height. 

“There is no way there are twenty-seven types of apples,” Vanessa muttered and shook her head, picking from one of the shorter trees. She was about to take a bite of one when her phone started to go off. “Oh, hold up, it’s my mom,” she answered cheerily.

Brooke watched as Vanessa spoke animatedly with her mom. She was speaking in Spanish for the most part, leaving her in the dark. She didn’t mind, in fact, one thing she had always loved about New York was hearing the various dialects people around her spoke in.

 _“No, todavía no he reservado mi vuelo, ¿por qué?”_ Vanessa scratched the back of her head, then her eyes widened. _“¿Vienes aquí?”_ she still seemed confused but had perked up in excitement. Then there was a pause, hesitation in her tone. _“¿Puedo traer a mi ... um, hay alguien que quiero que conozcas?”_ she winced but laughed. Her cheeks had a noticeable blush on them. _“No hagas una gran cosa al respecto, por favor,”_ there was a soft sigh of relief, she seemed content. _“Sí, yo también te quiero, adios,”_ she hung up and shoved her phone into her pocket.

“Is everything okay?” Brooke asked with a mouth half-full of apple. She could eavesdrop all she wanted; it didn’t clear up anything. She took French in high school and hardly remembered any of that either.

Vanessa smiled, but there was still an air of nervousness around her. “Normally I go down to see my mom over Thanksgiving, but she just told me she’s coming up, cause my auntie in Washington Heights decided to hold it this year. And since I figured you don’t celebrate it…I asked to bring you,” she glanced down, chewing on her lip. 

Brooke felt a pang of nerves hit her as well. They had only just allowed themselves to consider what they had a real relationship, and now she was less than a month away from meeting the family. “Yeah, uh, I’ll just have to let my mom know. I’m sure she’ll understand,” she spoke as if she was still holding her breath but smiled warmly. “Alright, let’s get going, the traffic’s gonna be hell, and we need to find somewhere decent to stop and eat,” she shook off the unease and got back in the car with Vanessa. She wasn’t about to let anything interfere with their perfect date. 

### 

“Has Brooke Lynn seemed a little…off to you lately?” Vanessa asked.

A’keria couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “Girl, no one pays more attention to her than you. If anyone’s gonna notice any change, it’ll probably just be you,” she looked at her friend’s face fall and sigh. “Why does she seem ‘off’ to you?”

“She didn’t answer any of my texts yesterday til like, almost midnight, and when she did, she was just like, ‘oh sorry, I was busy’. Then in class she seemed super distracted and kept looking at her phone and shit. She just isn’t like that, you know?” Vanessa frowned, fumbling with the sleeves of her sweater. 

Instead of sympathy, A’keria rolled her eyes again. “I’m not sure if this has occurred to you, but Brooke Lynn is an adult, she’s probably doing graduate work or paying bills or something like that,” she sat beside Vanessa and put a hand on top of hers. “Have you considered that you might be projecting a little after the whole thing with the ginger bitch?”

Vanessa crossed her arms. “I am not!” she looked down, thinking with knitted brows. “Or maybe I am, I don’t know…what should I do, then?”

“Wait it out, I’m sure it’ll be fine. And if not, talk to her and figure it out,” she shrugged. “In the meantime, get your ass together, we gotta go to work.”

Vanessa groaned and got up. Work had become so much of a chore as of late. The customers were no better or worse than usual, but her boss seemed to have developed a vendetta against her. Suddenly, she was getting shorter, worse hours, and she hadn’t pieced together why. 

“He’s probably just mad ‘cause you threatened to call corporate after he grabbed your ass,” A’keria offered.

“Brooke Lynn taught me how to do that. That’s what happens when you date a white lady,” she beamed proudly, getting through the rest of her shift, doing her best to ignore the way her boss would give her a dirty look every time she glanced in that direction. 

By the time her shift ended, however, Vanessa was tired and cranky. She just wanted to relax and get comfortable. And for her, that meant letting herself into Brooke Lynn’s apartment with the spare key she knew was left under the mat. “Brooooke?” no answer. “Brooke Lynn?” she could hear her voice from inside her room, and that pissed her off. “Really, bitch? You’re gonna cold shoulder me?” she stormed towards her room, only to stop in her tracks with a perplexed expression.

Brooke Lynn was sitting on the floor with a couple books in front of her. She had her phone sitting atop one of the books and had headphones in her ears. At first, it appeared that A’keria was right with her theory that she was doing course work, but then she continued talking to herself. _“Quiero un vaso de agua por favor,”_ she repeated the phrase a couple more times, scribbling into a notebook.

Vanessa beamed, leaning against the door frame. Okay, maybe she had been a little paranoid, and maybe she had just ruined a surprised Brooke had been planning. But she didn’t need the anxiety of a surprise beyond this anyway, she decided. She quietly walked up behind her and kneeled down, carefully taking out her headphones and whispering _“Quieres ayuda, mi amada?”_ in her ear and kissing her cheek.

Blushing fiercely, Brooke closed her books and set her phone aside. “You know, I told you about my spare key in case of emergency,” she murmured with a soft laugh. She turned to face Vanessa, accepting the kiss the other girl placed on her lips. 

“I did have an emergency,” Vanessa defended. “I missed you and you weren’t answering my texts,” she pouted and sat across from her. “You’re teaching yourself Spanish?”

Brooke nodded, awkwardly rubbing the back of her neck. “I wanted to surprise you at Thanksgiving by introducing myself to your family in Spanish without sounding like a confused six-year-old,” she confessed softly. 

“Well, you can still surprise her. My family probably won’t have the highest expectations…no offense,” Vanessa hummed. “I’m gonna help you though. We can make it fun, like a game,” she offered brightly. She tilted her head in thought for a moment. “I’ll give you words for you to translate, and if you get it right, I’ll take an article of clothing off, and if you get it wrong, you do,” she told her with a slight smirk.

“Sounds a lot more fun than answering to an animated green bird,” Brooke retorted with a laugh. “Alright, hit me.” 

And so, they went back and forth. Vanessa would think of words off the top of her head and Brooke Lynn would translate them to varying degrees of success. After about ten minutes, Vanessa was still in her bra and panties while Brooke had lost every item of clothing. “You’re getting there,” she offered in consolation, though it was really a win-win as far as either of them were concerned.

“But I still need to learn the important things,” Brooke insisted, grinning at her confused expression before continuing. “Like, how do you say…’kiss me’?” she asked as innocently as she could muster.

Vanessa rolled her eyes and giggled. _“Besame.”_

Brooke leaned forward and carded her fingers through Vanessa’s hair. _“Besame, Vanessa,”_ she did her best to sound seductive and sultry, only using her proper first name because she felt it flowed better. She didn’t wait for a response, moving her hand to gently grasp her jaw and kissing her deeply. “Am I getting it yet?” she asked softly, resting their foreheads together. 

“You a damn fast learner,” Vanessa chuckled. “And I can see why you like being a teacher so much,” she joked, kissing her again. “But, you know, even if you weren’t, I think they’d appreciate the effort. I know I sure do. I’ve dated white girls before, none of them ever gave a shit about learning. Always saying ‘oh I know enough from high school’ or some shit,” she remarked. “What I’m trying to say is, thank you for caring about me.” 

“You don’t have to thank me for that,” Brooke shook her head. “The bare minimum you should expect out of a relationship is someone that cares about you. Otherwise, there’s no point, that’s not a relationship worth having,” she took Vanessa onto her lap. “Now…” her expression changed into a smirk. “let me show you how much I care,” she picked her up and placed her on the bed, “and spell out all of those vocabulary words with my tongue,” she slid off her underwear as she spoke. 

Vanessa smirked, propping a pillow up under her head. “Damn, you nasty too. I really hit the fucking jackpot,” she hummed, tossing her bra aside as well. 

Brooke kissed Vanessa and gazed into her eyes. “You really haven’t been treated like you deserve,” she frowned for a moment, then kissed down her torso before her head ducked between her thighs. While not actually spelling out words with her tongue, she moved skillfully in ways she knew her girlfriend liked, never stopping or flinching as she moaned and writhed. 

“Fuck, baby don’t stop, just like that,” Vanessa pleaded, ever the vocal one – something Brooke Lynn had found to be as unsurprising as it was enjoyable. She hardly took a moment to breathe until she was fully spent and laying sprawled across the bed in a post-orgasm bliss. “Mm, have I ever told you how good you are at that?”

“I’ve had a hunch,” she replied with a smug grin, coming back up to kiss her sweetly. “Now get some rest, you’ve worked so hard as a teacher today,” she cooed and lay beside her. 


	9. The Princess, The Pauper, & Pride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if yall want more branjie content, ive got tons of drabbles up on tumblr (redvanjie). might post some of my faves here, idk

“Vanessa, can I speak to you for a moment?” After weeks of death stares and unpleasant comments, the calm, polite tone in her bosses’ voice made Vanessa uneasy. But she nodded, leaving A’keria and the other baristas to manage the floor as she stepped into his office. 

Vanessa’s boss looked like if the evil CEO of a nineties comedy got demoted to managing a Starbucks in Manhattan – and she didn’t know his life, maybe that was the case. He sat across from her and exhaled deeply. “Vanessa, it’s 2019. I can’t control the…community of people that frequent this store. However, I can tailor my employees to reflect my belief. Obviously, I can’t fire you for that without a giant shitshow following, but we can avoid that if you quit on your own accord.”

Vanessa’s jaw was agape, and her eyes were wide. Frankly, she thought her boss was being short-sighted, there were plenty of valid reasons he could have fired her, considering how often she bailed on shifts to go spend time with Brooke Lynn. “So…you’re not firing me, but you want me to quit?”

“I’m willing to buy you out of your position,” he replied. “I’ll pay you two hundred hours’ worth of wages if you walk out on your own accord. That’s over three months at your current schedule.”

Doing the math in her head, Vanessa realized that was a decent amount of money – she just couldn’t believe this was an actual proposition. “Let me get this right, you’re bribing me to quit because you don’t want a lesbian working here?”

“Okay, fine, three hundred hours.”

### 

“ _How_ could you take a bribe for that, Vanjie?” Brooke asked incredulously. 

Vanessa exhaled in frustration. “I don’t think you realize how much money three hundred hours of wages could do for me. And I can get a new job, there’s no shortage of coffee shops in Manhattan.”

“It’s the principle of the matter! That man doesn’t deserve to be in business while running on homophobic policies. Doesn’t A’keria work there too? How do you know she won’t be next?” she was horrified that her girlfriend had been subjected to this, but the fact that she’d allowed it to happen just boggled her mind. 

“I can’t _afford_ no damn principles, Brooke Lynn!” Vanessa groaned. “I’m already gonna be up to my tits in debt until I’m sixty, I gotta do what I can to fucking survive. The one scholarship I have is barely making a dent in the other costs I have. Do you even realize how expensive just being here is?”

And Brooke Lynn was quiet for a moment. Sure, objectively she realized that going to college in Manhattan had to be insanely expensive, but it didn’t occur to her just how deep it ran. She was lucky, born into a privileged, wealthy family that took vacations to ski resorts regularly. Her undergrad was funded in full by scholarships and her family, the only things she spent money on were things she wanted – she never lacked the necessities. She pressed her lips together into a fine line and nodded. “I guess there’s a time and place to be self-righteous beyond this, but…”

Vanessa sighed. “Look, I get why you’re mad. I am too, this is really fucked up. But he’ll get what’s coming to him, I’m sure of it, karma’s a clever bitch.”

Brooke furrowed her brows. “Karma isn’t tangible. How can I help?”

“Do you know of a place that’s hiring?” Vanessa shrugged. She tried not to seem terribly upset or dejected, not wanting to give Brooke more of a reason to worry. If she suggested calling corporate over a failed attempt at sexual harassment, who knows how far she would go over bribery and homophobia?

“You know, you don’t have to work if you don’t want to. You can stay with me, I’ll take care of you,” Brooke didn’t think it was fair that Vanessa was fighting for scraps while she had access to a buffet.

But Vanessa shook her head, almost seeming a bit offended. “I don’t need to be babied, Brooke Lynn. I love you, but you don’t have to swoop in like a white night. I got this far all by myself, I can get wherever I need to be.”

Brooke furrowed her brows. “I don’t understand…”

Vanessa exhaled deeply and shook her head. “Of course you don’t,” she muttered before turning on her heel and leaving.

### 

“Is it me?” Brooke asked with a dejected sigh. “I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, I really am just trying to help. Wouldn’t anyone choose being able to avoid having to take on a part-time job just to get through school?” she sighed, dejected and sitting on the floor beside her bed.

Nina sat beside her and put a hand on her knee. “You have to consider Vanjie’s background and how different it is from yours. People that build themselves up from nothing on their own don’t like what they perceive as handouts. It can be…patronizing, I guess. And you’ve always been around the high-end type, the kind that have all the opportunities in the world. I know you just want to help her, but she needs a cheerleader, a partner in crime. Not a sugar mommy,” she paused, then added “It probably doesn’t help that you’re such a type-A personality,” offhandedly.

“I’m not type-A! And I'm not _trying_ to be a sugar mommy,” Brooke insisted. “I just…she deserves the world, and I want to give it to her,” she groaned, running her fingers through her hair. “But if it’s not what she needs, I’ll just have to adjust,” she concluded. 

Of course, Brooke had no idea what adjusting would consist of. Yes, she objectively knew that she had been afforded opportunities because of her economic status, because of her race, but she was realizing that she still had so much to learn. Going to women’s marches and being a member of the ACLU only meant so much. 

So, she would learn. She would do anything to prove her unwavering support towards Vanessa. It wouldn’t be an overnight fix, nothing this complicated ever was. And it may have been another item on her already full plate, but she would just have to manage it. 

Life was a delicate balance for Brooke Lynn at this point, and she towed the line of being overwhelmed. She had always been told to prioritize what was most important for her, but so many things fell into that category – school, work, Vanessa, she couldn’t get sloppy anywhere, that’d just start a downward spiral.

### 

“And then she’s just like ‘ohhh I don’t understand’, like no shit, sherlock,” Vanessa ranted. “You haven’t said anything in agreement with me, what’s the tea?” 

A’keria pressed her lips together. “Okay, listen, I’m cut from the same cloth you are. I get it, you’re feeling some type of way and it’s justified. Brooke Lynn definitely isn't in the right here, I just think you should cut her a little slack.”

Vanessa rolled her eyes. “Hasn’t life cut her enough slack already?”

This time A’keria let out an exasperated sigh. “Yes, but there isn’t a whole lot she can change about that. At least the bitch is trying.”

“Don’t call her a bitch.”

“See? You ain’t even that mad at her, fucking drama queen,” A’keria laughed and Vanessa blushed.

Vanessa’s phone went off moments later and she checked it, her expression softening. “She just texted me, I’m gonna go to her,” she said and got up.

“Oh, before you go,” A’keria started, getting up as well. “You should know that pretty much everyone quit today. Standing in solidarity with our Vanjie,” she smiled. “Store’s closed today cause no one else showed up.”

Vanessa beamed warmly and hugged her. “I knew y’all would come through for me.”

A’keria held the hug for a brief moment, then pat her back. “Go on, don’t keep the princess waiting,” she teased. 

### 

“I’m really sorry baby,” Brooke said once she and Vanessa sat down in her kitchen to talk. “It’s come to my attention that I’ve got a lot of privileges and—”

“You’re _just_ realizing that?”

Brooke chuckled and looked down. “Let me finish. I get that throwing money at a problem and being sanctimonious about it doesn’t actually help anyone. I respect you and your background, the last thing I want to do is come off as myopic and patronizing.”

Vanessa smiled softly, reaching out and squeezing Brooke’s hand. “I got madder at you than I should’ve. It’s, you know, a touchy subject for me, so I get a little defensive about it,” she admitted. “What I appreciate is that you love to learn. You’ve been trying to learn Spanish just to impress my family, reading up on all that intersectional shit to try to understand me,” she leaned over and kissed her. “I can’t stay mad at you.”

“You know what you’ve taught me?” Brooke mused with a smile. “You taught me how to actually talk about my feelings. I don’t know if we’d still be together without that. Us WASPs, we bottle everything up, push everything aside, and never touch it again. You, Vanjie, feel so many things all the time and let everyone know. I love that about you.” 

This brought a bright smile to Vanessa’s face, her whole body perked up. It was the first time anyone had complimented her on something like that. She was always too loud, too talkative, too much to handle. And she knew it, she was a handful, abrasive, maybe a little too challenging for most. But every time, without fail, Brooke took on the challenge. More than that, she seemed to want to do it. “I think that’s the coolest thing anyone’s ever said to me.” 

Brooke laughed softly. “Sometimes I get the feeling you don’t get told how amazing you are often enough. But maybe I’m a little biased.” 

Vanessa rolled her eyes and laughed. “I think you’re _very_ biased,” she corrected. There was a brief pause before she spoke up again. “A’keria said everyone at work quit out of solidarity. I told you karma would come for his ass.” 

“You did,” Brooke giggled. “Okay, so other than monetarily, what can I do to support you?”

“That’s the thing, Brooke Lynn,” Vanessa hummed. “You’ve been doing it the whole time. You’re my brick.”

“I think you mean rock.”

“Focus, we’re having a moment here,” Vanessa huffed. “What I’m trynna say is that you don’t gotta do anything different than what you been doing. Loving me, supporting me, being in my corner. You ain’t gotta pay my bills and shit to prove it.”

Brooke Lynn got up and picked Vanessa up, kissing her sweetly before setting her down. “I think the after-school special is over now,” she chuckled. 

“You sure? We don’t have any more valuable life lessons to learn?” Vanessa teased. 

“Oh, I’ll give you a life lesson,” Brooke laughed, picking Vanessa back up and carrying her into the bedroom, where she threw her down on the bed, eliciting a surprised squeal from her. She climbed on top of her, wasting no time kissing her deeply and threading her fingers through her hair. 

They had been making out for a good few minutes when Brooke Lynn had to pull back to yawn. She rubbed her eyes and blinked rapidly, trying to shake it off and go right back to kissing Vanessa, but she had shifted away to look at her with concern. 

“Are you okay, boo?” Vanessa asked. “You’re usually pretty high-energy when we’re gettin’ it on.”

Brooke hadn’t answered right away, spacing out for a moment. “No, yeah, I’m good,” she assured and tried to kiss her again, but Vanessa stopped her. 

“Nuh-uh, I’ve pulled enough all-nighters to know when someone’s sleep schedule got fucked up. You know just because you _can_ do shit doesn’t mean you should,” Vanessa told her. 

But Brooke defiantly shook her head. “Baby, baby I’m okay, I promise. You know this is just a busy time.”

Vanessa wasn’t having any of it. “Looks like after all that, you’re the one that needs someone taking care of them,” she mused with a dry laugh. She got up and tucked Brooke into bed. “Imma make you some of that tea you like, okay? And you’re gonna drink it. Then I’m gonna rub you down, unclench all those muscles, and then you’re gonna go the fuck to sleep. No books, no dance practice, no language lessons, just you closing your damn eyes,” she saw Brooke open her mouth to reply, “and no arguing!”

Despite a weak protest, Brooke resigned herself to the bed and allowed Vanessa to dote on her. She propped herself up when she returned with the tea, sipping it gingerly while Vanessa rubbed her back and kissed her temple. 

Vanessa took back the empty mug and washed it out before going back into the bedroom. She rifled through Brooke’s drawer for a moment before finding her favorite body cream. “Okay, boo, strip down and lay on your front,” she instructed. 

And Brooke obliged, shedding her clothes and shifting on top of the covers to lay on her stomach. Vanessa straddled her thighs and poured the lotion into her palm. She massaged her from her shoulders all the way down her back, occasionally leaning down to kiss at the nape of her neck. 

“Does this massage come with a happy ending?” Brooke teased, finally losing the wound-up, tense tone she often carried in her voice. 

Vanessa rolled her eyes and laughed. “Maybe just this once,” she cooed, wiping the excess lotion off on a tissue. Knowing an orgasm would only help her relax further, she nudged Brooke’s thighs apart and gently eased a finger into her. She took her time as she added another finger, her movements languid. In a way, this wasn’t them having sex, this was just her going the extra mile to make her girlfriend feel good in any way she knew how. 

It was working, undoubtedly. Brooke Lynn was moaning wantonly, her breathing heavy. Every time she tried to move and urge Vanessa on, she was stilled, leaving her to just lay and enjoy it. Even with the time Vanessa was taking, she still got Brooke off after a reasonable amount of time. She eventually backed off, leaning down to kiss her shoulder blade. “There, you feeling better?” she asked, pushing Brooke’s hair out of the way of kissing her cheek.

“Much better,” Brooke confirmed with a yawn.

“Look at that, got you to bed before midnight. That’s gotta be a new record,” Vanessa chuckled before getting into bed with her. “Goodnight, Brooke Lynn,” she cooed.

Brooke yawned again, pulling Vanessa against her. “Night Vanjie, love you,” she mumbled as she fell asleep.


	10. Love Languages

“We shouldn’t have to do work right before break,” Vanessa whined, head down on her desk. It was the last college writing class before Thanksgiving break, and her last class period, leaving her with no motivation. 

“Considering how much we pay for tuition, we better get our money’s worth,” Yvie replied casually, “Are you having trouble with it?” she turned slightly, better facing her classmate. 

Vanessa nodded, lower lip jutting out in a pout. “It don’t make sense, write about communication that doesn’t involve talking. Talking is the only way I communicate, and I do it a lot,” she explained.

“I’ve noticed,” Yvie chuckled. “Just go for something obvious, you know? Write about something like love languages,” she suggested, then looked at Vanessa’s blank stare before continuing. “Love languages are the different types of ways people express affection. Obviously, yours is verbal. Not just in general, but like, with Brooke Lynn. All your big romantic gestures involve words – the main reason everyone picked up on you guys was your inability to ever shut up about her.”

This caused Vanessa to blush and look down, tapping her pen against the paper. “So, what are the other types?”

“Physical’s one,” Yvie shrugged. “For some people, it’s going out of their way to spend time with someone, others best communicate affection through gifts, or some people do it through like, going out of their way to help someone with tasks,” she added. “And next time I’m charging you for doing your work for you so—” she realized Vanessa had brightened up and started scribbling fervently. “Okay then.”

By that afternoon, Vanessa and Brooke Lynn had officially finished and were ready to enjoy Thanksgiving break together. Vanessa had gone right to Brooke’s apartment after class, finding her curled up on the couch and saddling up to her side. “Is there anything else we have to do before tomorrow?”

Brooke shrugged and wrapped her arm around her. “No, but I was thinking…maybe we could go shopping? I wanna get you a nice new outfit for tomorrow,” she was hesitant in her suggestion, not wanting to create tension again.

But to her surprise, Vanessa smiled and nodded. “Yeah, alright.”

“Wow, I was expecting an argument on that,” Brooke admitted with a laugh. “Maybe you’ll let me take you to a salon tomorrow, get our hair done before we head over to your aunt’s,” she hummed.

“Well, I learned something today,” Vanessa smiled. “And I realized you don’t keep trying to buy things for me or pamper me because you feel sorry for me or you think you need to take care of me. That’s just your way of showing me you love me. And I should appreciate it a little more,” she explained. 

This did admittedly take Brooke Lynn by surprise, but it touched her. “That’s so profound,” she hummed. “But I guess you’re right. That’s always been the Hytes family way of showing affection. And I know I don’t say enough about how important you are to me, and I guess that’s something I need to work on too,” she mused. 

Vanessa grinned and kissed her cheek. “Look at us. We’re such mature adults in a relationship. Now let’s go get some nice clothes so I can make my mommy proud.”

### 

Brooke Lynn stared into the mirror after she finished her makeup. She was nervous – was it too much? Too little? Did it go with her clothes? Should she wear earrings, or would it be over the top? “What time is your aunt expecting us, Vanjie?” she asked, deciding on small stud earrings to put in. 

“It’s called for four, which means she’s probably expecting us at like, five. But that’s not happening,” Vanessa replied with a laugh. “My mom’s taking the air train from JFK, so…” she furrowed her brows in thought. “Her flight gets in around three, and she’s taking the train from Jamaica to Penn Station and taking the A train over to her apartment…that’ll get her there by a quarter after four without delays,” she explained, then looked over at Brooke. “What? Why are you staring at me like that?”

“…I don’t know, but now I’m horny,” she answered. 

Vanessa laughed and nudged her playfully. “Shut up. We’ll have plenty of time for that tomorrow,” she assured and pulled her coat on. 

The subway ride was the most nerve-wracking one Brooke Lynn had ever been on. She was sure Vanessa had been saying something to her, and she just hoped it wasn’t anything important, because she couldn’t have listened if she tried, her mind lost in an anxiety-induced haze.

It was bad enough that Vanessa had to yank her off of the subway when they got to the stop. “Are you okay?” she asked. “Look, I know this is like…a big deal, but I wouldn’t keep you home from Canada if I didn’t think we were ready for this,” she smiled and squeezed her hand, holding it the whole way of the five minute walk to the apartment, and up the two flights of stairs to the door. 

_“¡Hola mija!”_ a woman – presumably her aunt – hugged Vanessa tightly. “And you must be Brooke Lynn, how nice to meet you,” she beamed, hugging her with the same enthusiasm and ushered the two girls inside, taking their coats and tossing them into the closet. “Oh, everyone is so excited to see you, Vanessa. And we’ve heard so much about you, Brooke Lynn,” the woman was so sweet, so bubbly and kind that Brooke couldn’t help but feel at ease as they were led into the living room.

There were seven or eight other people, all talking and laughing, but their attention was immediately diverted to the girls. They all got up at once, greeting them, introducing themselves to Brooke, who smiled warmly as she greeted each member of Vanessa’s family. 

And sure enough, at a quarter after four, Vanessa’s mother arrived. Vanessa ran to her and hugged her tight before bringing her over to Brooke Lynn. “And this is Brooke Lynn, the girl I told you about.”

Brooke Lynn took a deep breath – this was what she had been practicing for. _“Es un placer conocerte. Tu hija me ha tratado muy bien, estoy feliz de poder ver de dónde viene,”_ her pronunciation was a little stilted, but she had managed to get the phrase out without any errors, Vanessa and her mom both nodding in approval. “Oh, thank god. I’ve been practicing all night,” she whispered to Vanessa.

“I know, I didn’t fall asleep til two thanks to you,” Vanessa retorted at normal volume with a laugh.

Vanessa’s mom looked between them with a surprised expression. “Oh! You two are…sharing a room?” 

“What, like we’re supposed to believe Vanessa is staying in that crappy dorm room instead of with the Victoria’s Secret angel?” one of her cousins chimed in with a knowing smirk.

“As long as that crappy dorm still costs money!” her mom retorted, causing Vanessa to look guilty because her cousin was right – she hadn’t slept in her dorm room in weeks. 

“That’s why she’s going to move in with me next semester,” Brooke blurted out. Even though suggesting it the last time had led to an argument, maybe now Vanessa would see why it made more sense than continuing to pay for a room she didn’t use. 

“What?” the three Mateos questioned in unison. 

Brooke swallowed thickly, eyes darting around. “I-It’s just financially logical, you know? Think of how much money she’d save on room and board. And uh…when she starts working again, she can start contributing to the rent!”

Vanessa chewed on her lip and looked down. “That’s actually a really good point,” she mumbled, then stood upright. “It’s a better option…I should’ve taken it the first time she offered,” she admitted. No one could add anything further, because dinner was called, and everyone gathered into the dining room and took their seats. Grace was said in Spanish, so Brooke Lynn just mouthed along, trying not to get distracted by how good the food smelled. Then, dinner went underway, and the room refilled with the vibrant energy it’d had before. 

“Ay, Vanessa, do you ever feed this girl?” her aunt laughed, gesturing to the fact that Brooke Lynn had hardly stopped to speak since she began eating, practically keeping on par with Vanessa’s brothers, both of whom looked like football players. 

Brooke blushed fiercely, pausing to finish the forkful in her mouth. “Sorry, uh, the food is delicious Mrs.—”

“Oh, no, please, call me Maria,” she insisted, cutting her off. “And thank you, _querida_ ,” she smiled.

Brooke Lynn could easily say this has been the best Thanksgiving she ever had, but it was also the first one, not counting the ‘friendsgiving’ parties she’d partaken in over the course of her undergrad. She had never experienced such love and light and warmth confined to a nine hundred square-foot apartment. This wasn’t to say she didn’t enjoy time with her own family, but in a way, it felt like she fit right in here too. 

Once dinner had finished, Brooke Lynn had started to assist in cleaning up when one of Vanessa’s brothers tapped her shoulder. “You got a minute?”

“Sure,” Brooke smiled pleasantly and followed him out to the balcony. She rests her arms on the railing, looking out at the city landscape with a content sigh. “What’s up, Jose?” she turned back to face him.

Jose was leaning against the wall as he lit a cigarette, taking a drag before joining Brooke Lynn against the railing. “Listen, I know this is the part where I’m supposed to threaten you if you hurt my sister, but it doesn’t feel right because, you know…”

“Because you don’t want to threaten a girl?”

“No, not that. I’ve threatened Vanessa’s girlfriends before. But I don’t think you’re like them,” he explained, taking another drag before offering the cigarette to Brooke.

“No thanks, I’m still using the gum to ween off that,” she chuckled dryly. “I like to think I’m not like them either. Sometimes I’ll be talking to her and realize that she must not have been treated right in the past. Breaks my heart, you know what a good person she is,” she added softly. “I wouldn’t be offended if I haven’t earned your trust yet.”

Jose shrugged. “I don’t trust no one but my mama. But I can see how happy you make her, how much she means to you. That, and you haven’t been scared off yet, so, I gotta respect you for that,” he mused. 

Brooke Lynn beamed warmly. “Thank you,” she hummed, turning so her back was propped against the railing instead, elbows resting on the ledge. “I don’t think anything can scare me off at this point. Think I’m in it for the long haul, you know?” 

“You in love with her?”

“Yeah,” Brooke’s tone was soft, shy. She and Vanessa had said ‘I love you’ to each other so many times, but confirming she was in love with her, especially to someone like her brother, felt all the more intimate. She stood silently for a moment, trying to recall the other Spanish phrases she had taught herself. _“Creo que…algún día…podría casarme…con ella,”_ she spoke slowly, brows knitted in thought and hands gesticulating as she did. 

Jose looked at her, mildly stunned. “You know you just said that you—” 

“I know what I said.”

He nodded and clasped her shoulder. _“Entonces tienes mi bendición, Brooke Lynn,”_ he gave her shoulder a squeeze before he put out the cigarette in an ash tray before they walked back inside.

“Where y’all been?” Vanessa asked from the couch, holding a mug between both her hands and sipping from it. 

Brooke shrugged and smiled as she sat back down with Vanessa, kissing her cheek. “Just having a little chat, baby,” she hummed, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, gently caressing her cheek in the process. “Didn’t mean to keep you waiting,” she glanced over to see Jose whispering animatedly in Spanish, but it was too fast and quiet for her to even attempt to translate it. 

By the time things were winding down, the girls were getting their things together to leave. Maria insisted on sending them back with containers of leftovers, and neither of them had any interest in rejecting it. They both said goodbye to everyone, making promises to visit again as soon as their schedules allowed for it. 

As they walked down the street to the subway, Vanessa turned to Brooke Lynn. “You still not gonna tell me what you and Jose talked about?”

Brooke shook her head. “Don’t worry about it. And…sorry about springing the moving in thing on you, I was just trying to save face for both of us.”

“It’s fine,” Vanessa assured. “You was right, it’s not like I’m trying to mooch off of you, we’re just…a couple moving in together. It’s uh…what’s it called…mutually beneficial,” she hummed. “Besides, it’s a hell of a lot harder to fuck in that twin bed.” 

“Exactly,” Brooke giggled. “I really do like your family. I’ve never had a holiday quite like that before,” and it was true, her family and Vanessa’s were wildly different, but she enjoyed both in their own ways. And when the time comes, she would bring Vanessa up north to meet her family as well. Had this been anyone else, she would have run away by now. This was moving fast for her – it had only been three months, after all. But it didn’t seem to matter as long as they were this happy. 

“Do you think your mom liked me?” Brooke asked as they got inside the apartment. “She seemed so nice, but did she say anything to you?”

Vanessa let out a soft laugh as she hung up her coat and toed out of her shoes. “She adores you, boo. Everyone does. Not that I ever expected anything different,” she assured, walking over to kiss her. “I’ve never taken a girl to a major holiday before, so I guess no one really knew what to expect,” she mused. 

They retired to the bedroom soon after, tired, full, and ready for the good night’s sleep they knew was to follow. “Hey Vanjie?” she asked as they lay in quiet darkness.

Vanessa stirred slightly. “Hm?”

“How do you say, ‘I love you’ in Spanish?”

Vanessa smiled warmly. _“Te amo,”_ she yawned, her eyes staying closed.

 _“Te amo,”_ Brooke echoed with a nod. “Is there a way to differentiate that from ‘I’m in love with you’?” she asked after another moment. 

This time, Vanessa opened her eyes and looked at her, the lights of the city peeking through the blinds giving her just enough light to see her face. “Do you?”

Brooke beamed, gently carding her fingers through Vanessa’s hair. “I do,” she answered. 

“Then all you need to know is that the feeling is mutual,” she hummed before passing right back out for the night. 


	11. Standing Calmly at the Crossroads

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, i can't believe this is the last chapter. thank you all for going on this journey with me, im excited for whatever comes next!

Vanessa was breathing heavily, staring up at the ceiling. Her face was red and dotted with beads of sweat. “Fuck, that was intense. Was it good for you?”

Brooke Lynn nodded with a satisfied grin. “Best one so far. Think you’ve got one last round in you?”

“But I’m so tired,” Vanessa whined, pouting and stomping her feet. 

“I know you are, baby. But this is your final project. I don’t grade it, so you’ve really got to be at the top of your game,” she explained. “Come on, I think you can get through one more time before calling it a day,” she insisted. 

And sure enough, Vanessa was able to get through her routine one last time before she threw in the towel. “You know we ain’t fucking tonight, right?” she murmured as she grabbed a towel to wipe her forehead. 

“You say that _now_ ,” Brooke retorted with a laugh, “But you and I both know you have the willpower of a toddler at a birthday party,” she smirked at how Vanessa huffed indignantly because they both knew it was true. It was impossible for her to withhold sex as a punishment when it meant she would have to go without it as well. 

Vanessa rolled her eyes and gathered her things. “Well, you at least owe me dinner,” she decided.

### 

The day of Vanessa’s final project left her full of nerves from the moment she woke up to the moment she and Brooke Lynn walked into the studio – something no one even bothered to question, it was an open secret as Yvie had once said – and she showed no signs of calming down. 

Presentations went in alphabetical order, and Vanessa greatly appreciated that – being in the middle of the pack was the perfect place to be as far as she was concerned. Katya could see what she put together, get graded, and let it blend among the other students. Normally, she loved standing out and being the center of attention, but this was different, daunting. Everything rode on this and she just hadn’t gotten her confidence up to where it needed to be. 

“Nice job, Olivia,” Katya smiled as the girl sat down. Had they really gone so far down the list already? “Alright, Vanjie. You’re up next,” she called out.

Brooke gave her hand a quick squeeze. “You got this,” she whispered before nudging her towards the vacant space in the studio that was being used for the final performances. 

And so, Vanessa took her place with a deep breath. She looked to Katya with a nod, signaling her to turn the music on. The beat was different than any of the ones that had been used before her, but she did her best to let that empower her, reminding herself of everything Brooke Lynn would tell her – how her uniqueness could be the best tool in her belt if she honed it in. Nobody at this school believed in her more than Brooke, and she wanted to make her proud. 

“Mary J. Blige?” one girl whispered to another, getting a shrug in response. But – admittedly to Vanessa’s surprise – most of the class was smiling and nodding along as ‘No More Drama’ played through the speakers as Vanessa danced. 

It was a song she had fallen in love with the very first time she listened to it. The connection she had to it was strong and fierce, so when she suggested it in her brainstorming session with Brooke Lynn, it seemed like the perfect fit. She was able to lose herself in the music, her body moving without her brain telling her where or why. Suddenly, she wasn’t in front of her classmates or Katya or even Brooke Lynn. She was in her childhood bedroom in Tampa, dancing and lip syncing into her hairbrush after her first breakup, trying to convince herself that everything would be okay.

In those moments, Vanessa was fully submerged into her passion and it was clear to everyone in that room that she deserved to be there as much as any of her trained, polished peers. They all applauded when she finished, no longer gasping for air and sweating like she had been during rehearsal. 

“Great job, Vanjie,” Katya smiled in approval as her student returned to where she had been sitting down. 

Brooke Lynn also gave Vanessa a thumbs up from her chair, grinning from ear to ear with an overwhelming sense of pride. She did her best to professionally watch the rest of the students, but every now and then she would catch her gaze drifting towards her girlfriend. Luckily Katya had followed through on her stance of being the sole grader of the projects as well. 

By the time the class was over, the air seemed to feel lighter. Everyone was relieved to be finished – for many of the students for the entire semester. Brooke Lynn gathered her belongings – her coat, bag, and Vanessa – and headed out of the building. “It’s snowing,” she observed. “Have you ever wished you stayed in the city long enough to have a white Christmas?”

Vanessa shook her head. “Nah, it’s more fun opening presents while getting a tan if you ask me,” she chuckled, exhaling to see her breath in front of her. “You can take the girl out of Tampa, but you can’t take the Tampa out of the girl,” Brooke chuckled as they got to Vanessa’s dorm. “How far along have you gotten on packing?” she asked as they got in out of the cold. Without waiting, she answered it herself. “Let me guess, you haven’t actually started yet?”

Vanessa pouted. “Shut up,” she crossed her arms, then sighed, “I hate packing,” she whined. 

“You can’t get your beachy Christmas if you don’t clear this place out,” Brooke reminded her, gathering Vanessa’s luggage bags. “Your roommate left already, right?” she asked, putting the luggage down on the stripped-down bed. 

“Last night, yeah. Took a five-a.m. flight back to Ohio,” Vanessa confirmed as she finally got around to packing up. They worked in relative silence for a while before she turned to her. “I want you to come visit me over break. Not for Christmas, I know you got family to see. But during January. We deserve some real alone time,” she mused.

At first, Brooke was a little surprised by the offer, but the more she thought about it, the more sense it made – they would have to go six weeks apart after spending almost the entire semester together. Their lives had become so deeply intertwined that separating them seemed wrong. “You don’t think your mom or anyone else would mind? I wouldn’t want to impose, I could always stay at a hotel, or—”

“Brooke, dial it down,” Vanessa put her hands up on her shoulders. “My family loves you. None of them would shut up about you after Thanksgiving. Seriously, it started to get annoying as hell,” she added with a laugh. “Everyone would be thrilled to have you if, you know, you don’t mind sacrificing some family time…”

Brooke smiled warmly and leaned down to kiss her sweetly. “Spending time with you will never be a sacrifice. I’ll make it work,” she assured. The way she figured it, it would all work out – spend the holidays with her family, get her fill of Canada, then migrate down south to spend a couple weeks with her girlfriend. Now that she thought about it, she couldn’t think of a better way to spend her break. “I’ll book a flight as soon as I get back home.”

### 

“Wow, you’re really hauling ass all the way down to fucking Florida for her? I didn’t realize you two were that serious,” Katya remarked as she handed a thick folder of paper to Brooke. “Oooh, do you think she’s it? The one? I honestly thought you guys were just going to fuck and go your separate ways. Frankly, I’m impressed,” she added. 

Brooke’s mouth went agape. “Really? But you’ve been trying to play matchmaker from day one,” she blinked, shaking her head before opening the folder to enter the final grades into the system.

“Well, yes,” Katya conceded, “I was going into it with the intentions of getting you laid. Falling in love was all on you, babe,” she chuckled. “So? Is she the one?”

There was a silent moment. Saying something like that out loud was setting it in stone – you can’t simply bounce back after calling someone ‘the one’. “I love her,” Brooke finally answered. “And she loves me. Neither of those things are going to change any time soon. We’re in a good place, we’ve been together about four months now, and see a future on the horizon…if that makes her ‘the one’, then yeah, I guess she is.” 

“I would definitely be lying if I claimed to have seen this coming,” Katya admitted. “But if you get me accused of favoritism, I’m hunting you down wherever you are,” she warned with a laugh.

When Brooke Lynn had gotten to Vanessa’s sheet, she understood what she meant. “Hey, as someone that spent many nights watching her study, I can tell you she earned this ‘A’ fair and square. But I’m not going to spoil the surprise,” she promised. “All in all, I think this was a pretty successful term.”

Katya clasped her hand onto Brooke Lynn’s shoulder. “I’m proud of you, kid. You did good.”

Brooke smiled and put her hand on top of Katya’s. “Thank you, mama.”

### 

A’keria shook her head in disbelief. “I can’t believe you went and invited Brooke Lynn down to Tampa. You ain’t even ask me down there yet. What the fuck?” she clicked her tongue as she wiped down the counter.

In the aftermath of the bribery and the subsequent mass walkout, the owner of a pointedly LGBTQ+ local café offered a position to A’keria, as she was the leader of it. On top of that, the pay was much better than what she would get at minimum wage in a popular coffee chain. “You just lucky I’m working here over break, Vanjie,” she added.

“Hey, this place is real nice. Got the right vibe and everything,” Vanessa chuckled. “But for real, listen, it’s…different with her, I don’t know. It’s like, I can’t stand the thought of being away from her for that long, going the whole break without her would fucking suck,” she looked down with a softer grin. “I know it’s corny as hell, but I love her. I really do.” 

Looking at how happy her friend was, A’keria couldn’t stay bitter about it. “I better be your maid of honor, bitch.”

Vanessa leaned over the counter to hug her. “You know you will,” she looked at her phone and sighed. “Ima head out, go over to her place and stay there til I gotta catch my flight,” she explained, zipping her coat up. She waved as she left before shoving her hands into her pockets. 

Normally, walking to Brooke Lynn’s apartment filled her with anticipation and excitement. Knowing she was about to spend time with her never failed to make her happy, something her friends would always tease her about. But this walk felt melancholic. It was the last walk she was taking there for the semester, the official signifier of the end of that chapter in their lives. She wasn’t ready for that, nor was she sure she ever could be. 

Brooke Lynn had been staring out the window, waiting for Vanessa. She ran downstairs to greet her, hugging her tightly. “Hey, baby,” she greeted softly. “How long do I have you before you go?” Vanessa sighed, reluctantly pulling from Brooke to check her time. “I gotta call for an Uber in like, five minutes. I only have enough time to go grab my luggage,” she explained, going back inside with her to grab her things and bringing them back out to the sidewalk. They didn’t speak much, just holding hands tightly until the order had to be placed. 

“Oh, I hate goodbyes,” Brooke finally said with a pout. The uber was rounding the corner, they had run out of ways to delay the inevitable. “I’m gonna miss you so much,” she kissed her for what could have been the hundredth time in the past ten minutes. “Promise me you’ll call as soon as you get home, okay?” she insisted, cupping her face and stroking her thumb across her cheek. 

Vanessa giggled wetly, just enough to choke back tears. “It’s only a month,” she reminded both of them. “January nineteenth I got you all to myself again,” she assured. “I’ll call you, I promise,” the Uber driver honked the horn lightly. “I better get going. I’ll talk to you real soon. I love you.”

With one more kiss for the road, Brooke Lynn grudgingly let Vanessa go. “I love you too,” she replied and helped her load up the car. Even when she stepped back and the car pulled away, she stood on the sidewalk and watched it, staying in place until it left her field of vision. 

The walk back inside felt colder, the wind felt harsher, and even escaping into her heated apartment didn’t take away the icy stinging that followed her. She hung up her coat and walked into the living room, a weak smile finding its way onto her lips. 

Stacked in the corner of the room were multiple boxes of Vanessa’s things, left with the intention of her moving in for the next semester. With the apartment locked up for the winter, they could start the spring together as soon as they returned. 

### 

“Flight 287 to Tampa International Airport is now boarding at gate fifteen. Once again, flight 287 to Tampa International Airport is now boarding at gate fifteen.” 

Brooke Lynn looked down at her boarding pass – flight 287. This was it, the last moment she had alone before she would make the thirteen hundred-mile, three-hour flight down to Florida. She bet Vanessa was already preparing for her arrival, begging her family not to embarrass her. She bet she spent time convincing her mom to let them share Vanessa’s room and ignoring her siblings teasing her for it. 

Deep breath. Go to the gate. For a moment, she wondered what would happen if she changed her mind – took the last chance she had to leave her first and most serious relationship. She would be lying if she said she hadn’t been scared, hadn’t spent days of the past month questioning everything that had happened, wondering if it was too good to be true.

But then she looked at her phone, at the lockscreen of the two of them. Brooke walked confidently to the gate and onto the plane. She had no desire to run away, something that surprised everyone back home, and even herself. She, no, _they_ could do this – they could handle whatever happened next. Because that was what love is all about, isn’t it? Someone to hold your hand when you’re standing at a crossroad.

Or, throwing herself into your arms when you arrive in her hometown. It was about that embrace, that warmth, the satisfaction of longing coming to an end. Love was all about whatever they had, and whatever was coming next. 


End file.
